By Jenna

Do you talk about other Moms behind their backs? Hmm… I went to a playdate recently. [I’ve got to stop going to these…]  And I met The-Mom-I-Can’t-Stand. Her kids were going to be homeschooled and that was the absolute best type of schooling, and anything else would be evil, and how dare I consider putting my child into any other institution but my own home? It was as if she had judged between stay-at-home vs. working moms or breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding…. when do we get to stop judging each other and realize that Every Child is Different?? And every Mom is different too?

I am firm in my convictions. When I make a decision, it is not one I enter into lightly. But TMICS made me second-guess everything I believed in, and then other homeschooling moms joined in on the “anti-private or public school” mob mentality. I know homeschooling moms must take on a lot of flack and apparently they must be ready in an instant to tell why they homeschool, but I was not at all interested in homeschooling after conversing with them. I almost wish this mom had made such comments behind my back, except that I would have gone to more playdates and had a false sense of security of who she was. In an instant I felt condemned for my choices as a parent. I wanted to scream at her, “Please put down your gavel and stop judging me!” But instead I expressed my opinions meekly and calmly left the playdate with my children, feeling degenerated and picked on.

I don’t think we choose to judge others. I really don’t. I just think we as Moms don’t think things through well enough and we too often form opinions based on what others think or feel, (or based on the mob mentality, aka “everyone is doing it”) rather than what we know in our heart is right. OR, we don’t know exactly what we think, but we want to argue for the sake of arguing, until we find out what we think. Then we ask the question, “Who are the adults here?”

I cannot judge this situation. My gavel is broken at the moment. This judge is off the bench. Or off her rocker.

jenna blogs at [kevin and jenna [dot] com].

5 Responses to Gavel
  1. Renee
    April 30, 2010 | 1:15 pm

    LOL! You don’t necessarily need to stop going to playgroups…maybe just find a new one! 😉 I have a fabulous group of friends who all have different opinions on life. Yet we all get along and support one another! You can find one too!! Good luck!

  2. Michael
    May 1, 2010 | 7:30 pm

    Or you could stop hitting yourself over the head with your gavel.

    Some of the people who are most certain are also most certainly wrong. Often, they cling to their dogma because they are afraid that they will be found out as mistaken. They just hide their insecurities behind a fog of bluster.

    Often, people make judgments to make themselves feel more secure. There’s really no need to pay any attention to them.

  3. Candace
    May 3, 2010 | 6:13 pm

    I have a preschool mom who is similar. I can’t get away from her yet. It can be frutrating. Especially when you know you are making the best decision for your family and yourself. I get judged because my husband and I have decided our son will be our only child.

  4. Kristen
    May 6, 2010 | 7:18 pm

    I hate that. The purpose of the mom group is to build each other up and support one another, regardless of our chioces.
    Good for you for expressing your opinions, they should matter too!
    I have a friend, our #1 kids are 2 wks apart, our #2 kids are due within weeks of each other. We DO NOT agree on everything…but bouncing ideas off each other makes us a little more educated on different topics and viewpoints. I wouldnt have it any other way.

  5. Para Ma
    April 15, 2012 | 10:41 am

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