The Mother Of All Mother’s Days

By Stephanie

(I wrote this post last year as I was expecting my fourth child, my first girl.)

Stephanie is having a girl. I will have a daughter.

I think I’m still in shock, to be honest. I never thought of myself as a Mom to a girl. It makes me think about the daughter I wasn’t to my own Mom. Maybe I’m making up for it now, I don’t know, because I try to show my appreciation and make up for all the angsty-ness my Mom had to go through with me for much too long. This Mother’s Day, this Sunday, as I celebrate knowing I have a little girl forming inside me, this post is for my Mom.

There are so many times I wanted to say thank you but my teenage pride got in the way.

I remember so clearly the late nights of you driving me to play practice, long trips of me making you suffer through my moody Sarah McLachlan, REM, and Nirvana mix tapes. The long drives of me sitting in silence, brooding. Not knowing what was happening in my life and I only wonder what you must have felt, not knowing what was happening with this daughter of yours. This daughter that I know you wanted to dress in nice outfits and I only wanted to wear ratty thrift shop clothes. This little girl that scowled and rolled eyes until you were probably sure they’d fall out of her head.

I felt every bit of love you had for me. But I’m afraid you could never feel mine. It was there. Beneath the makeup and the closed bedroom door and the candles burning in my room. I really did want to hug you. To crawl in bed with you. And to wish away my uncertainties and life that was just so hard at thirteen, fifteen, any-teen. If only I had known then what I know now.

If only you had known then what I’m saying now.

I am so glad we are where we are. I am so relieved to be on this side of life. This side of the red hair dye and this side of my self image.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I’m going to have a daughter!

P.S. Even though I dressed like a bum, you have to admit I always had great shoes…

Originally posted May 11, 2008 at Adventures In Babywearing.

Stephanie Precourt is the managing editor of 5 Minutes For Parenting and also blogs at Adventures In Babywearing. (And her Mom blogs at Mimi’s Toes.)

5 Responses to The Mother Of All Mother’s Days
  1. Rhonda
    May 10, 2009 | 7:37 am

    I believe that everything happens for a reason Steph. Look at you now! I did all of those things for you because I love you, no matter what. Unconditional Love! You will do the same for your kids. Maybe I should have forced more hugs on you…I don’t know, but all I know is, I could not be more proud of you. You bring happiness to so many people. I could not have custom ordered a more perfect Daughter! And, I mean that from the bottom of my heart…I love you, Mom

  2. Storm
    May 10, 2009 | 9:06 pm

    Very nice tribute.

  3. Jenn
    May 11, 2009 | 9:24 pm

    I was a terrible teenager and often am embarressed when I think back to things I said, did or wore. I am so thankful for my parents and their patience and love.

    Train up a child…

  4. เล่นเกมส์ angry birds
    April 10, 2012 | 2:31 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More Infos here: […]…

  5. zyzz ideology
    April 16, 2012 | 5:24 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More: […]…

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL