Planning the Work and Working the Plan

By Megan

Have I told y’all that before I married Al, we worked together? Well, we did. And having worked together for a decade in various capacities has, as you can imagine, had a somewhat significant impact on our married life. We can, when we step back and choose to, employ the tactics of working together that we learned in our professional relationship to address issues arising now that we’re a couple.

Remember last week, I asked how you maintain closeness and connection with your spouses when your lives threaten to pull you apart? Y’all had some GREAT ideas, some I’ve already put into action and some I will definitely try in the future. Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts and experiences.

As I read your comments and continued to think and pray about my specific family and perhaps most importantly my specific spouse, images of my work life with Al kept coming to mind. And I remembered things about him that I’d nearly forgotten in the nearly 6 years since I “retired” and left him to navigate the work world without me.

Al’s a rational, precise, pragmatic man, and his approach to business and life in general finds its foundation in those facets of his personality. Al does NOT like chaos in the office. He doesn’t like to have to put out fires and insists on fire-prevention in the form of planning, structure and efficiency. Harken back with me, if you will, to Midtown Atlanta, circa 1996, when I was a young wet-behind-the-ears, twenty-something stockbroker and Al was my older, wiser and much more experienced manager.

Every quarter, Al required the brokers in my office to write business plans for their own portion of the target or quota assigned to the branch as a whole. These plans defined our activities from day to day and week to week and if executed properly would lead to individual and team success.

Anyway, being the anal structure-loving guy that he is, Al painstakingly educated us on the fundamentals of a GREAT business plans. He required us to write them in a VERY SIMPLE, SPECIFIC BULLET-POINTED FORMAT. If a plan didn’t meet his criteria,  he’d send us away to rethink and rewrite until it was perfect. As many times as it took. And oh, how we loved him for that.

As I’ve been thinking about the current state of marriage at my house it’s dawned on me that since he’s half of the marriage, I’m going to need to find a way to incorporate my husband’s way of thinking and doing things into the mix as I try to negotiate my family’s “new reality.”

So instead of crying and whining, “WE NEVER GET TO SPEND ANY TIME TOGETHER!! I’M LONELY! FIX IT!” and waiting for him to put out my big emotional fire, I’ve put together a very, very simple business plan to address our need for time alone together. It’s one sentence long.

“Once a day, every day, after the kids go to bed,  you and I will sit down with no laptops, no TV and no other distractions, and drink one beverage of our choosing, and just BE together.”

(Now, to anyone without kids, that may sound pathetic. ONE BEVERAGE? THAT’S IT? YOU’RE SERIOUSLY PROPOSING ONE BEVERAGE A DAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND? But for those of you who have children, you know that’s quite a lot to look forward to at the end of the day.)

I presented my plan to Al last night over cheese, crackers and hot tea.

I’m pleased to report that he didn’t make me re-write a single word.

This is one business plan I’m going to love executing. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

You can also find Megan blogging at FriedOkra.

15 Responses to Planning the Work and Working the Plan
  1. Stephanie
    October 20, 2008 | 12:01 am

    As simple as your plan sounds, oh my goodness it is the best thing I’ve ever heard and I am TOTALLY suggesting it to hubby. I love it. What a fantastic post, Megan!~

    Steph

  2. Courtney
    October 20, 2008 | 8:23 am

    Sounds like an excellent plan to me! That is partly what we do. My husband gets home from work, i cook dinner, we eat as a family at the table, he bathes the kids, and we put them to bed at 8. This leaves us with a few free hours before we snuggle into bed. usually we spend about an hour of it together watching a show or something and the other 2 hours doing our own thing. It is good for us and our marriage.

  3. Summer
    October 20, 2008 | 9:53 am

    Hey, it’s usually the simple plan that works. And you’ll be amazed at what just that little bit of time will do for you. You’ll feel like an adult again. A real person with a real brain.

  4. Mari
    October 20, 2008 | 10:38 am

    Megan – I think you are brilliant! You proposed it in a way that Al understands and it a a doable goal.

  5. Cassie
    October 20, 2008 | 12:13 pm

    That is definitely a great idea! I’m suggesting it to mine tonight too! It is so hard to steal away those little moments when you are so focused on child rearing, but I commend you for putting your marriage at the top of your list! Too many let it slide at this point of life with new little ones and then the next thing you know, you are strangers in the same house! Great thinking girl! Thanks for the idea!

  6. Carrie of Ceaseless Praises
    October 20, 2008 | 1:10 pm

    What a great, simple plan! My hubby & I do the same thing- not so much a beverage, but we eat dinner together or just sit together for a few minutes each night after baby goes to bed- it is really nice. 🙂

  7. abbyjess
    October 20, 2008 | 1:18 pm

    What a fantastic idea. I’m definitely going to propose it to my hubby. That would probably quadruple the time we spend together some days.

  8. Laura
    October 20, 2008 | 2:48 pm

    Great plan… hope you both have some great quality time together!!

  9. Chantal
    October 20, 2008 | 5:19 pm

    As everyone else is saying: So simple, so perfect. I love it! I will try and incorporate it into our routine as well.

  10. Anna K.
    October 20, 2008 | 6:28 pm

    I like that you thought about, not just how to better communicate, but how to communicate specifically with Al…in a way that he’d actually listen and understand. So simple and so very vital, Shug!

  11. Lisa
    October 20, 2008 | 9:09 pm

    What a terrific idea! And way to go- learning to speak your man’s language!!! :>)

  12. Kellyn
    October 21, 2008 | 1:09 pm

    So simple, and so perfect. How wonderful that you get that time together.

  13. Steph
    October 22, 2008 | 9:24 pm

    FAB-ulous plan, m’dear! I think I might just have to borrow this idea myself 🙂

    hugs,
    Steph

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