A Dose of Humor – Hair Raising

A Dose of Humor5 Minutes for Parenting introduces a new weekly column, A Dose of Humor, to remind you to take your humor pill regularly as the best medicine to treat the side effects of parenting! It features a different blogger every week and is hosted by Rachel at Grasping for Objectivity in My Subjective Life.

Today’s writer is Jen Smithson,  a stay-at-home almost 3 year veteran mother of two daughters. She has a weird sense of humor that will sometimes cause her to don kitchen utensils to make her girls laugh. She is not afraid of poopy diapers, but totally afraid of toddler boogers. She blogs at Rolling Through Looneyville, One Wave at a Time.

I knew it would come one day. When I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I looked forward to this day with great anticipation.

“Can I do your hair, Mommy?”

Ahhh, music to my ears. I love having my hair played with. Shaun and I have a compromise. I’ll watch endless games of baseball with him if he’ll let me put my head on his leg and play with my hair.

(I’m not sure he’s figured out that I actually like baseball and sometimes I’ll even watch it when he’s not around. Shhh, don’t tell).

Anyway, when Bean asked me that the other day, it was all I could do not to trip over the laundry on the bathroom floor to get her a hair brush. (No, not this hairbrush… that one went to trash land).

I sat down on the couch with C in my lap to nurse and she climbed up behind us. She gently moved her hand over my head and sang me a little song. (A nice touch… hair dressers might want to pick that one up. Then again, maybe not).

Then she said, “Mommy… I have to pick your hair up and look for something.”

Um, ok… “What are you looking for?”

“YOUR HEAD! Now, hold still please.”

And it started to get a little crazy at that point.

“OUCH! Bean! You’re pulling my hair!”

“Mommy, I have to find your head. I can’t see it. You need it!”

(Little does she know, I lost it long ago).

She continued pulling my hair up towards the ceiling, a bit more gently at this point.

Then she got the hairbrush.

“OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW! What are you doing?”

“Brushing your hair! Ohhh, Mommy! You look so beautiful!”

I showed her how to put the brush against my head gently instead of beating me with it like she was trying to club a caveman.

She peacefully continued on for a few minutes and then apparently got inspired.

“EEEEEEEEEK! WHAT THE HECK! AHHHHHHHH!!!” My head was on fire.

C pulled away from me and burst into tears. Bean fell over my shoulder and landed on the couch behind me.

“MOMMY! I need to fix you! And I need to find YOUR HEAD!”

I reached up to find that the brush had been rolled into my hair. And it was stuck.

“That’s very nice. But I’m done. No more hair fixing today! Mommy is D-O-N-E, DONE.”

“But MOOOOMMMMY! I waaaant to!” And a touchy Bean started throwing a temper tantrum. C was still crying. And at that point, as I tried to detach the brush from its nest on my skull, so was I.

Somehow, this wasn’t what I had in mind when I thought about a relaxing session of mom-daughter bonding.

I’m just glad the doorbell didn’t ring.

This article was originally published on August 25, 2008 at Rolling Through Looneyville.

If you would like to be considered for A Dose of Humor, email Rachel for more details at DoseOfHumor (at) gmail (dot) com.

6 Responses to A Dose of Humor – Hair Raising
  1. cornnut32
    October 18, 2008 | 12:41 am

    ah, little girls and their hairbrushes. so fun, and yet so terrifying. how on earth did you get your hair out of that brush? funny funny post. 🙂

  2. Gill
    October 18, 2008 | 6:34 am

    Ouch! Poor you, but i am sure she loved the little bonding session you were having (bonding you to the brush :S)!!
    Have a great weekend.

  3. Courtney
    October 18, 2008 | 9:21 am

    Oh the joy of hairdresser day at home. I have 2 boys but they love to play with mommy’s hair. We have had mnay incidents liek this one!

  4. Jen
    October 18, 2008 | 7:56 pm

    Very, very carefully, much after the girls went to sleep. 🙂

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