The Luckiest

By Beck

I wrote a guest post for 5 Minutes for Special Needs which is posted today, talking about my feelings about The Baby’s Celiac Disease. And I do have a lot of feelings about it – some good, some sad – and you should totally go read that post, but mainly I just feel that it could be much worse. I know parents who are carrying much worse burdens than a child with severe food issues, much worse.

One of the funny things about adulthood for me has been the end of entitlement. I thought that certain things were just my right, that I was owed gifted, healthy children, that I was owed a middle class life, that I was owed automatic writing success and realizing as an adult that I actually was owed none of those things was fairly harrowing. The flip side of that has been: gratitude for people who like my writing, a cheerful appreciation for our increasingly almost middle class life, and most importantly and most overwhelmingly, a sense of being immensely blessed to be the mother of my flawed, human children.

Which is not to say that I’m not annoyed much of the time. For instance – I am buying this morning’s writing time by playing the Alvin and The Chipmunks soundtrack CD, which means that these words are being brought to you by my rodent-given trip to Funkytown. And although it’s hard to be totally grateful for that – ugh! – there’s still joy to be had in what their exuberant, goofy dancing (Important caveat! My easily embarrassed oldest child is NOT HOME!), joy to be had in their repeated requests that I get off the dopey computer and come and dance with them. So. The computer goes off and away I go to dance with my kids to awful, awful music, which will be all at once annoying and delightful and another ordinary, lucky day.

11 Responses to The Luckiest
  1. Minnesotamom
    August 20, 2009 | 2:18 pm

    There was a record by the Smurfs that I listened to growing up…I don’t know how my parents stood for it. Dance away, Mommy!

  2. Nicole
    August 20, 2009 | 3:45 pm

    Remember the Mickey Mouse disco and the Mini Pops? Such awful music. I think I had that Smurfs record too.

    Lovely post, Beck.

  3. Carrie
    August 20, 2009 | 8:24 pm

    I agree with that ‘entitlement’ thing, too – we are not guaranteed happiness every day or even healthy children. I am expecting my 2nd, and while I pray for & hope for a healthy child, it drives me nuts when people ask if I want a boy or girl, and I tell them I’ll be superbly happy with either, and their response is UNFAILINGLY, “As long as it’s healthy, right???” and I say nothing, because what if my baby isn’t healthy? Won’t I still thank God for him or her? Won’t I still love him or her just as fiercely? Of course I will. It would be heartbreaking to deal with special needs on a daily basis, I’m not belittling those challenges, but what a silly comment that we so often make.

    Hmmm…I seem to have gotten a little worked up about this. A blog post may be in order. 🙂

  4. Omaha Mama
    August 20, 2009 | 8:44 pm

    A lot of what I’ve learned lately about life’s trials and those tests, I’ve been grateful to learn and study about with some women at church. About how blessed we are by God’s love, but that does not mean a life with no strife. And that the trials, tests, and strife are a pretty big chunk of it all. Finding gratitude in that is a skill that you’ve obviously honed. Well done you.

  5. tracey
    August 20, 2009 | 10:53 pm

    Wait a minute: You mean I’m NOT owed that stuff? Crap.

  6. Tonggu Momma
    August 21, 2009 | 8:18 am

    Beck, I’m linking to that post next Wednesday, if that’s alright. I contribute to a site that focuses on families wishing to learn more about China’s special needs adoption program… severe allergies are one of the special needs many people consider within the program. Often it falls under the “failure to thrive” diagnosis. The Tongginator’s two “bestest friends” (twins adopted from China) have severe food allergies.

  7. gretchen from lifenut
    August 22, 2009 | 3:21 pm

    I AM entitled to a nap at 2 pm on Sundays, but I don’t always take it.

    The music I used to drive my mom batty was Disco Mickey Mouse. My poor mom probably had Macho Duck on a loop in her brain. It probably gave her insomnia.

  8. Lisa b
    August 22, 2009 | 3:51 pm

    I love this beck. But I do love all your writing.
    I read your other post first and was thinking how lucky your daughter is to have you, I sometimes fear we may need to go gf with Julia and by fear I mean I realise that I am not up to the challenge. Julia has other medical and developmental issues but I think it isn’t worse, just different.
    Food allergies are a huge challenge and as a parent that dream of your child eating a croissant in paris is a difficult think to have taken away.
    I am sure by the time she is 18 paris will be gf too 😉

  9. Marta
    August 25, 2009 | 8:28 am

    That’s funny that you are listening to Alvin and Chipmunks. I still have songs of theirs go through my head now and then and my daughter is 27!!! Just you wait. You’ll miss them!

    And I understand your feelings regarding your child with food allergies. However, you are right to put it in perspective, as things could be much worse. Sadly, I know this only too well. But it sounds like you are doing a great job in teaching her how to handle the issue and chances are, it won’t be a major problem in her life. Enjoyed both your posts.

  10. LegalMist
    August 31, 2009 | 4:03 pm

    Your writing is beautiful. I hope you make a mint of money off of it, but even if you don’t, please know that you have brought a lot of joy and smiles and tears to those of us who read your work.

    Thanks for the reminder to appreciate the ordinary days. They do fly by so quickly, don’t they?

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