A Dose of Humor – Have You Seen My Hat?

5 Minutes for Parenting’s weekly column, A Dose of Humor, is here to remind you to take your humor pill regularly as the best medicine to treat the side effects of parenting! It features a different blogger every week and is hosted by Rachel at Grasping for Objectivity in My Subjective Life. Now you can also join in by linking in your funniest moment of the week, using the Mr. Linky at the bottom of this post!!

Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary chases two beautiful boys daily. In her former life she was a social worker and a more doting wife than she is now. Heather says “rocks the party” too much in an effort to remain cool. Mostly, she’s totally in love with being a stay-at-home Mom and wishes time would slow down just a wee bit so that she could kiss the chubby baby cheeks of her boys forever.

I was all proud of myself this morning. Because I took a shower.

Miles was at school and I gave Asher a snack and turned on Clifford, thinking “I can do this, I’ll just take a super fast only sort of get clean kind of shower” (the kind that leaves my hair less greasy but doesn’t really mean the bottoms of my feet were scrubbed. That kind.).

I got out of the shower and rushed to get clothes, thinking about how quietly Asher was watching the Big Red Dog. I’m an idiot, so I was pleased by his silence.

I was in the shower for approximately three minutes and dressing for about thirty seconds. I kid you not.

And just yesterday my friend and I were talking about how much we love Curious George, even if he does get into all that trouble. We blamed the Man with the Yellow Hat for George’s antics because anyone knows you shouldn’t leave a monkey alone so much. Especially not to “watch over the store” or all alone in a country cabin. I mean, he IS a city monkey after all. He’s sure to spill grape juice and then fill the place with water and suds trying to clean it up. (Don’t ask WHY we were having this conversation. I simply do not know.)

But I digress…

My point? I AM THE MAN WITH THE YELLOW HAT.

I came walking back (and I was smiling because remember, I’m an idiot) to the living room, expecting to see Asher sitting with his pacifier and blanket, eyes on Clifford. But no…

He was paying no mind to that big red dog. He had taken my coffee from the end table (THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT WAS THERE WHEN I WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER), and his own cereal snack, and mixed them together. He had also opened my CLOSED LAPTOP (clicking over the little claspy thing and everything), and was taking his chubby little hand, dipping it in the coffee/cereal mixture and throwing it all over the keyboard. There were little puddles and splashes and pieces of raisin covering the computer.

“GEEEOOOOORGE!”

He grins at me.

Three minutes. Thirty seconds. Ryan is going to kill me.

And there sat our very own big red dog, cozy on the couch, watching the whole thing unfold, expressionless. I was repeating, “No, no no no no no you didn’t…. NO NO NO….Asher, noooooo” and then I turned to the dog and scolded her too. “How could you let this happen???”

Her ears went back and she put on her pout. It was then that I remembered she couldn’t have stopped the madness. She has no thumbs. How was she to grab the coffee cup?

She’s just an animal.

I. Am the Man with the Yellow Hat.

This post was originally published on February 3, 2009 at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

If you would like to be considered to be featured in A Dose of Humor, email Rachel at doseofhumor (at) gmail (dot) com.
Join us and link up your funniest moment of the week here!!!