The Moment I Became Mommy

By Veronica

I was coming home from a solo trip to the library. I had stopped at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru for an iced latte on this lovely hot day. My daughters love to eat the leftover ice from fast food drinks – it is just the right size for small hands and mouths. So I was walking up the sidewalk to our house, holding my nearly empty drink, and I thought, I will open the door and announce, “I’m home! Who wants some of Mommy’s ice?”

And that’s when I realized: I thought of myself as Mommy. Not Veronica-who-is-also-a-mother, but as Mommy, a capitalized name.

There was a time this would have horrified me.

I have a few friends- good, decent folks – who feel a great resistance to being ordinary. The idea galls them. I used to be the same. The plain words that identify by a role or a relationship felt like a little death to me. Wife. Mother. Mommy. I wanted to live a life so big that these pedestrian titles could not contain me.

But I got over it. Part of growing up is learning to distinguish daydreams from goals, and I realized that I wanted a life of extraordinary grace and love more than a life of extraordinary achievement.

And that is exactly what I have.

I am not just Mommy. I am still Veronica, and I have other jobs to do and other goals to reach. But ordinary Mommy is no longer just a skin I wear. It is not something I take off when the circumstances change. It is who I am.

I have embraced the ordinary, and standing on the sidewalk with a cup full of ice, I found it wasn’t ordinary at all.

Veronica, a.k.a. Mommy, ordinarily blogs at Toddled Dredge.

11 Responses to The Moment I Became Mommy
  1. Cyndi
    April 28, 2009 | 9:13 am

    No, being a Mommy isn’t ordinary. You are the only one your kids have.

  2. candace
    April 28, 2009 | 12:13 pm

    I love this. I am mommy or sometimes he calls me by my first name to my son. But there is so much more ot me than that. I want him to see that his mother did not revolve life around him completly and that she had other interests and hobbies.

  3. Julia
    April 28, 2009 | 1:47 pm

    Oh, I love this! I too once thought about the roles of wife, mother, etc as too small and it has amazed me how fulfilling, joyful, and just plain fun it has been.

  4. Jo
    April 28, 2009 | 2:09 pm

    To “want a life of extraordinary grace and love more than a life of extraordinary achievement.” I hate the cliche of “this spoke to me”, but I’m not sure how to explain my reaction to your post than to say it spoke. Or maybe waved a knowing finger well within the walls of my personal space. I might need to admonish your post to use its INSIDE voice next time.
    I felt myself nodding “me too” but not quite as enthusiastically as I wished I could, particularly when it comes to getting over myself and my need to be something apart from a role of Mom or Wife.
    I did really enjoy and appreciate this post, even if it did speak a little too loudly for comfort.

  5. jolyn
    April 28, 2009 | 4:03 pm


  6. Carrie of Ceaseless Praises
    April 28, 2009 | 4:11 pm

    Oh, this is so sweet. 🙂 I’ve always ‘just’ wanted to be a mommy, so I became Mommy the minute I found out I was expecting my first, but I agree completely that it is a super-special title. 🙂

  7. Beck
    April 28, 2009 | 9:59 pm

    Beautiful! And I know that, too, that first time I called myself Mommy (or Mama, actually) without feeling like I was being cast in a play or wildly ironic or something.

  8. Kelly
    April 30, 2009 | 1:59 pm

    Like you, I fought the “ordinary” label my whole life. It’s why I rebelled against the idea of motherhood.

    But I look back at that viewpoint as immature and incredibly self-centered. Being someone’s Mommy is common, but it’s also extraordinary.

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