By Beck
My mother has been a teacher for a while now – in fact, one of her current students told her that she’d taught her grandmother. And it is a sign of my mother’s sterling character and good sense of humour that she was delighted to hear this.
My mother is the teacher that you would want if your child has had a difficult time in school up till now – she is infinitely patient with kids with learning and behavioural difficulties, and is a fun and engaging teacher, joking unwilling kids through their lessons. But there’s something beyond that, something bigger: my mother loves children. And a lot of people “love” kids – from my baby-besotted ramblings you may gather that I am fond of the little boogers, but there’s a difference between abstract love of children in general (I find most children I have not given birth to almost unbearably irritating) and a person who can look at each individual child and find something truly loveable about them.
The grubby little guy who is always picking his nose? Oh, he’s a delight! He’s always saying such sweet and funny things.
The sullen, spoiled girl sulking in the back row? She is such a sweetheart when you get to know her.
The aggressive, angry, bad kid? My heart breaks for him – I wish I could adopt him.
And from this you may gather that my mother is a nicer person than me, and also that it is probably a good thing that I never went into teaching. I am more than willing to take your personality at its word, even if you are only a child, while my mother will try very, very hard to find something good – something loveable – about almost anyone.
It was the school’s Christmas concert today. The Baby was over-excited; the gym was crowded and the lights went down and the grade 8’s sullenly performed a musical number. My daughter’s class sang an endless song in French. The Boy’s class performed some sort of festive melody of Christmas songs and forgot the words and the grade 3’s came out with paper candles to tell us about multicultural winter festivals and then it was the Girl’s class again and I was considering having a little nap and they spelled out C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. Then the grade 8’s came back to close the show and I could see them – each one of them – watching the audience, looking for someone who loved them.
And for just a minute, there they were – maybe not totally good on the outside, but good enough, these almost-little children lit up by the stage lights, their faces shining.
Beck writes at Frog And Toad Are Still Friends.
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You definitely need to take up knitting. I don’t understand how non-knitters make it through these school-performance ordeals.
Hahahaha. The Herdmans.
I always say out loud that I’m not that fond of children, but (if you can keep a secret) I’ll tell you the truth: I think I’m actually wired like your mother when it comes to children.
don’t tell anyone, though, it’ll ruin my rep.
HAHAH! My mother just phoned to tell me that the grade 8’s weren’t “sullen”, they were scared of making a mistake.
POINT MADE, MOTHER.
“…and I could see them – each one of them – watching the audience, looking for someone who loved them.”
There it is, the quintessential Beck line that zings me right in the heart every time.
So far, the teachers at my kids’ school have all had that ability to really see the individual children, and that’s what helps me overlook a lot of the extraneous BS there.
I like to think I am like your mom. Which is why I dream of a job with kids. I currently work with executives and I HATE executives. Hmmm maybe this is one of those grass is greener situations.
I was at my sons Christmas concert yesterday and my heart ached for the kids who were craning their necks looking for their parents. I prayed that they found them in that crowd.
I have a dear friend who is like your mother. She loves children both in general and individually.
My daughter is another of these…a pre-school teacher who loves each and every child.
(I, on the other hand, love children who are related to me…by blood, preferably.) “/
I’m glad we have those child-loving people among us.
=)
I could totally spontaneously combust with love for each of those little boogers. My kids had their concert last night and I’m suddenly filled with a new wonder at their growth!
Merry Christmas you! My Christmas must-do list is falling on my head. Not sure if I’ll be able to get up again after this!
I love your mother, Beck. But I’m not like her. I love children in the abstract, I love the idea of children, especially when they are in books or on television and not in my house! Unless they are my own, in which case I can’t even express my love.
My mother is like your mother. She’s been teaching for nearly 30 years and she loves ALL children… even the little boy who threatened to pee on her (she actually took classes hoping to become his foster mother)… even the spoiled little one who screamed like a banshee (whose parents called from Kentucky after they moved, asking my mom to help them calm down their daughter – over the phone). Your momma and my momma, Beck – we are all blessed to have them.
They really do scan the audience for a loving face, don’t they? Even that surly guy in the back.
No matter how much kids might insist they don’t care if their parents are there for those things, they really do care.
I suppose everyone SHOULD have some redeeming quality. I found that the hardest part of teaching, somehow finding something in the worst of them. Fortunately, I can remember only having ONE worst of them in all those years. So there you go. Not so hard after all.
And years later, when that worst of them was all grown up, he came back to say “I’m sorry” for being such an awfully angry fellow. I’ve changed.”
And he had.
What a lovely salute to your mother.
For me kids are like books. In theory they’re all great. Fun! Fascinating! Bringing joy and sorrow to my otherwise empty life! But in reality a lot of them bore me to tears and/or make me really angry and/or need to be taken to the thrift store and left for some other deserving person to adopt.
Meh.
This makes me think I really should get going on that novel I keep meaning to write. I’d bet it would be as awesome as my kids!
I strive to be more like your mother but I’m afraid I just end up getting annoyed. 😉
wow the concert sounds great!
Your mom is totally the type of teacher that made me realize I would never make that good of a teacher!
We’re suppposed to have B’s first sing-along (the Christmas program) tomorrow morning, but there’s an ice storm going on right now and I’m fearing that the last day of school before break may be a snow day. :0( They just have programs a grade at a time, since there’s 100 kids in every grade.
The CLB’s Christmas program is tomorrow and the anticipation is killing us. I hope he goes to sleep soon.
What a precious post
Just got off the phone with my mother tonight. She’s a special needs TA. One of her students who is autistic somehow ended up with the lead role in the Christmas play tonight. He was so nervous but he did a great job. At the end after a long wait on stage through presentations and boring stuff where she was afraid for him he might not be able to keep it together, he walked backstage found my mom and burst into tears.
“I did it,” he sobbed, “Thanks Mrs. R.” and then she hugged him for a long time while he cried.
Yeah, I have one of those moms too.
Your post made me cry Beck, but #20, carrian (she laughs at the days) just made me cry harder. I love children, and I do get annoyed by some (except my own), but I can’t see a child crying, it breaks my heart. Children are all precious, a gift from God. You know? Sometimes my nephew’s attitude bugs me big time, but he’s my favorite brother’s son, so I make an extra effort, and I’m always happy I don’t lose my patience with him.
My kids’ Christmas program is tomorrow, and my daughter is dancing in “the Nutcracker.” Lots of tissue for me! I always get emotional when I see them performing. They bring me so much joy.
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