By Cassie
I started thinking the other day about the many hats I wear. I am a mother first and foremost. Aiden is what I wake up to in the morning and what I think about before drifting asleep. Aside from Aiden, though, I hold many other hats.
I am a student. I took my last two finals this week and quite frankly I didn’t do too well. I am a good student so luckily these finals didn’t ruin my grades.
I am an employee. I work at a bar where the workload isn’t tough but the expectations from me can be quite high.
I am a friend. I am still young and friends are still a big part of my life.
On top of these I am a daughter, a granddaughter, a cousin, and a sister.
So how do you do it? How do you play all of these roles without them crashing into each other and falling apart? It is hard. Sometimes it is nearly impossible.
Tuesday night I agreed to go shopping with a friend. Aiden was dragged along and I had two finals to study for at home. I saw these three important roles crashing into each other. I realized what was missing. The balance.
So my question for you is how do you find balance in the many roles you play?
Find Cassie blogging at MessyFunMommyLife.
Cassie, you said it so well- I didn’t realize this is exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out lately, too.
Steph
I am a mom of 2 girls (3 & 5), I work from home doing graphic design, I am a wife, since I am home I coordinate everything our house needs (house painted? oil change for car? groceries?), I am a friend, a sister, a part of our worship team at church where I also help plan services — and nearly every week in our small group my prayer request is for balance. My husband is a huge help at home, and yet I still often feel overwhelmed. I think what I’m learning more is not how to balance it all, but what I need to let go of today. If I have a big project for work, the housework needs to go. If my kids need more attention, the work needs to wait. If I need a break, I need to go be with some friends. If it’s been a busy day with kids & work, we need to order pizza. I’m learning when to ask for help, when to stay up late, and when to say no.
Also, for the record, I don’t think your need for friends changes as you get older. You might have less friends but stronger ones, or you might remain a social butterfly. But I don’t think you wake up and say, “I think I’m done with friends now.” We always need support, and we always need someone who understands us.
Hmm. . . good question.
I think it is just a day to day thing of prioritizing the laundry list of things that need doing. I’m not great at it, and it is hard, but I just have to keep trying each new day.
I think even trying to find a balance is just one more stress we put on ourselves that we don’t need. I think we’d all be a little happier if we could come to terms with the fact that we aren’t going to be the perfect mother/wife/employee/friend etc 100% of the time. And the harder we try, the more its expected. Is it really wrong to teach our kids that sometimes we can’t be everything – that we make mistakes – but that we still love them whole heartedly and unconditionally?
Balance?? Uh, I don’t think I balance things well…my physical lack of coordination seemed to have trickled over to my mental abilities to balance. 🙂 But I am learning that it is OK for me to have needs and interests outside of my kids
I have to tell you the truth – I don’t! I seem to lurch from one crisis to the next. I believe in balance with all my heart.
But practising it is another thing.