By Michael It seemed like a twofer. The girls wanted their ears pierced. I wanted somebody to play chess with me. In the convoluted maelstrom that is my imagination, I saw a great opportunity. Learn to play chess, I said. If you can beat me, you can get your ears pierced. Pure genius. The girls…
Category Archives: Michael
Protecting Their Permanent Record
By Michael Two teenagers, aged 12 and 13, are in trouble in Indiana for sexting each other. The boy is 12, the girl 13, and the incredibly evenhanded, calm and wise authorities have raised the possibility of felony charges. (For the record, my solution for child molesters involves sterilization and cremation, not necessarily in that…
Our Secret Society
By Michael Dwight Eisenhower noted that no battle plan survives the first encounter with the enemy. He could have said the same thing about parenthood. Jill and I had our plans lined up and our reactions anticipated. Then we carried Susan into an empty house and, somehow, we weren’t quite sure about anything anymore. We were…
Being There
By Michael You never really come to any of my programs, Susan said. She didn’t mean it literally, of course. I showed up at just about all her events (Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, spring concert, fall concert, winter concert, no-particular-reason concert, class play, science fair, Thanksgiving, Christmas, dance recital, field trips…not that I’m keeping score…
The Fix is In for 12 More Years
By Michael There’s a chapter in my new book about the way we keep score in life and our tendency to shift the comparisons in ways that work against us. The chapter concludes with the suggestion, “If you’re going to fix a fight, fix it so you win.” In most cases, we can opt not…
Let Me Count the Ways
By Michael Stephanie was having a bad day, or a bad week, maybe it was a bad month, but she mostly thought it was a bad life. I don’t remember all the details, but she was feeling bad about things and mom couldn’t make a dent, so it was my job to help her. I…
Stranger in a Strange Land
By Michael The girls live in a different world, so I have to get my passport updated every year or so. This isn’t a curmudgeonly diatribe about the new generation and who-needs-it technology and mocking Twitter or FaceBook. I waste hours on FaceBook every day, by gum, and I’m as hooked on it as any…
I Don’t Know Whether to Laugh or Cry…Yet
By Michael He was so cute, running through the mall ahead of his stroller and feeling the freedom that comes from being completely unaware that mom is holding the other end of his leash. Smiling, laughing and then, bammo. Another toddler hits the deck. You gotta pay attention to this the next time you see…
Socrates is So Much Cooler than Nintendo
By Michael Okay, maybe I missed the boat just a little bit on this one. Immediately after Thanksgiving, when the girls were annotating the toy mazagines like they were researchers at the Library of Congress, the item they circled most often was Nintendo. Neither girl was that big on Barbie and all the girly stuff…
Carving Out My Niche
By Michael Thanksgiving’s at my sister’s house this week. I hope she’ll let me carve the turkey. Carving the turkey, of course, is a guy thing. No matter how much time mom spends tying and basting and seasoning and schlepping the bird around the kitchen, dad gets the final shot at doing a Rambo on the…