No More Opinions

By Michael

When the girls were younger, I told them they could be anything they wanted to be in life. They decided they wanted to be themselves.

And so, when I pointed out that Susan Brooke Rosenbaum was a great name for a Supreme Court justice, Susan would cry, because, “I don’t want to be a Supreme Court justice. I want to be a cheerleader.”

I argued with her for a while, but she was six forgawdsakes, so I let it go.

Stephanie decided she wanted to go to one of those places where they dress up the girls like really over-the-top fashion models and take pictures that the kids think are glamorous and most parents see as really, really creepy.

I argued with her for a while, but she was ten, forgawdsakes, so I let it go.

Both girls decided they wanted to go into children’s theater and, in high school, to join the show choir. Show choir is like Glee, which was created by a guy from one suburb over from us. In real life, show choir is exactly like the show, except there’s more crying and pain and self-esteem issues. And drama.

It was all fine with me, but it wouldn’t have mattered if I hated the idea. By the time they were in high school, I had finally figured out how to let it go without arguing first.

I’m getting to be quite comfortable with telling the girls I have no opinion about what they do. Yeah, it’s taken 20+ years, but I’m a slow learner. What condo should I buy, what job should I take, what do I tell my boss, where should I invest? Beats me.

One of the most pleasant things I can say to them, now, is, “I have no superior insight.”

Because you’re an adult now and you have good judgment and your opinion and your choice will be as good as mine. You’ll make good decisions—some will work out well and others won’t, of course—but your decisions will be better than any I could make for you.

I can’t tell you how proud it makes me to tell them I have no superior insight.

When the girls were younger, I told them they could be anything they wanted to be in life. They decided they wanted to be themselves. And they’ll get no arguments from me.

Michael Rosenbaum is 5 Minutes for Parenting’s first dadblogger. He is a business consultant, playwright and author of Your Name Here: Guide to Life.

Michael blogs on life issues at Your Name Here Guide to Life and manages the Adult Conversation discussion group on Linked-In.