By Beck

It is very, very early in the morning. I am up and writing because I have so much planned for today that this – this time of day I normally use for sleeping – is the only time I have to write. And this is how you can tell that it’s getting very close to Christmas, the way that my daily schedule suddenly has filled right up and the way that I wake up feeling all festively tense and overburdened.

Remember last year, when The Girl planned a carolling party all on her own? She was trying to raise money to buy toys for a young friend who had lost her house and everything in it to a housefire right before Christmas – and not only did the Girl and her friends successfully buy her some new Webkinz, they were also able to donate over $100 to our local food bank. I was pretty proud of her, and she’s planned another carolling party for this weekend and I feel JUST like falling on the floor and howling. I hate throwing parties and my house is a mess and it’s too cold to go traipsing around town singing. I don’t want to do this.

Of course, the awful punchline is that these effort-laden things are the things that stand out the most for me, the things that end up being glowing, joyous memories. Christmas suddenly came sparkling to life for me last year as I watched children leap from snowbanks to stand, joyously singing, in the golden doorwawys of strangers’ houses. And knowing this makes me continue trudging through days like today, although not with substantially better grace.

And now I have to go make cookies for the school bake sale, make a second gluten-free batch for a certain young person, clean my entire house, wrap a zillion presents, take my kids sliding, run a bunch of errands and someplace in all of this business, in this muddle of life andĀ if I am very lucky, Christmas will reveal itself again.

7 Responses to Busy
  1. Kat
    December 17, 2009 | 3:43 pm

    Ugh. I know. It is all just so stressful and overwhelming at times. But yes. Christmas always seems to manage and show it’s true self every year. Thank heavens!

  2. Omaha Mama
    December 17, 2009 | 7:22 pm

    Christmas revealed itself to me yesterday when I picked up B. They were watching Veggie Tales and the cucumber was singing that she gives not because it makes her feel good but because she does feel good. And that she feels good because of God’s love. La la la la la la. And I felt all better. The end.

  3. Christina
    December 18, 2009 | 10:06 am

    It’s good to hang on to those precious moments in the middle of all the stress. This year I’ve decided to let go of a few of the things that stress me out (cards!) and focus on enjoying the special joy which reveals itself in little moments: when my 5 year old put on reindeer antlers last night and serenaded me with “Rudolf” while prancing around the dining room, or when my 8 year old carefully picked out presents for the foster children we “adopted” for Christmas, or when my Girl Scout troop voted unanimously to donate some of their hard earned field-trip money to make Christmas happen for a little girl. That’s what Christmas is about!

  4. Susanne
    December 18, 2009 | 11:37 am

    I know most of us can relate to this post, Beck. No matter how we try not to be overly busy, it somehow is just the nature of the season. But you are so right too that sometimes the thing we cringe at the most turns out to be the most memorable. I try to tell myself that we I start to feel “grinchy”.

    BTW, I still have to go grocery shopping, can you believe it and I have to wrap presents TODAY because it just now occured to me, it is the last day of school. It’s either now or at midnight some night when they all finally go to bed.

  5. Kelly
    December 18, 2009 | 2:58 pm

    I love how you say that the most cherished memories are often the most frustrating, in the moment. It’s good to remember that.

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