A Dose of Humor – The Nth Disease

5 Minutes for Parenting’s weekly column, A Dose of Humor, is here to remind you to take your humor pill regularly as the best medicine to treat the side effects of parenting! It features a different blogger every week and is hosted by Rachel at Grasping for Objectivity in My Subjective Life. Now you can also join in by linking in your funniest moment of the week in the comments of this post!!

Rosana Vollmerhausen is a freelance writer, a semi-delusional mommy, a consumer and former purveyor of all things fashion, and most recently, a wannabe Iron Girl. Her favorite past-time these days is shakin’ her groove thang in the kitchen with her husband after the kids have gone to bed. Must know more? She also blogs. Drop in and visit her anytime on Chronicles of Momnia.

When I had kids, I knew there would be a high probability of lice, pink eye, ear infections and other commonly named maladies in my future. What I didn’t have a clue about were all the other strangely named illnesses waiting to pounce on me and my family in the disease-ridden place I affectionately refer to as “Gross,” but most people call “preschool.”

Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. Fifth Disease. Sixth Disease. Impetigo. Dub. T. Eff. I’d get all these notices about disease floating around the hallways and classrooms of the sweet Christian day school M attends. “Little Johnny Gross was diagnosed with Fifth Disease last Tuesday. We don’t believe he was contagious during the day he was in school, but we still wanted to notify parents.”

Ew.

Just makes me look at all people under four feet as tiny, deadly little incubators for grossness.

I remember the first time I encountered Hand, Foot and Mouth. My daughter was two years old. She developed these little blister-like bumps on her hands and feet. She also had a couple really painful-looking sores on her tongue. Poor little M. I wanted to take the illness away with a snap of my motherly fingers. Still, when the doctor informed me that my daughter had this Hand, Foot, Mouth thing, I nearly slipped and yelled out, “Gross!” Luckily, I was able to bite my non-blistered tongue and refrain from wrinkling my nose into a nonverbal “gross” face.

M recovered after about a week.

Now, once again, the dreaded Hand, Foot, Mouth has struck the Vollmerhausen compound. It’s toddling J. I thought the rash was a reaction to the sand, but I had a sneaking suspicion…I thought the fever could be attributed to two molars coming, but I had feeling…Sure enough, took him to the doctor this morning and he’s got Hand, Foot and Gross Disease. All we can do is keep his temperature down and wait for the vile virus to have its fun, get bored, and leave.

Still, there is no true end. Next it could be Fifth Disease, which apparently is like a slap in the face — literally. Or, some other mystery illness that will leave me scratching my head and thinking, “Ok. For real. Who’s the nimrod that did a family vacation in an Amazon jungle and picked up some yellow fever nonsense that I’ve never heard of?”

Sigh. I’m going to rub antibacterial wipes all over my body now, thank you.

This post was originally published on May 27, 2009 at Chronicles of Momnia.

If you would like to be considered to be featured in A Dose of Humor, email Rachel at doseofhumor (at) gmail (dot) com.

7 Responses to A Dose of Humor – The Nth Disease
  1. เกม ทํา อาหาร
    March 28, 2012 | 4:32 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Informations on that Topic: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  2. angry birds rio for pc
    April 3, 2012 | 12:04 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Find More Informations here: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  3. … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  4. Insanity VS P90X
    April 6, 2012 | 12:47 pm

    … [Trackback]…

    […] There you will find 77538 more Infos: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  5. disorders
    April 7, 2012 | 9:03 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More here: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  6. buy twitter followers
    April 8, 2012 | 7:46 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Informations on that Topic: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

  7. lennot
    April 14, 2012 | 9:02 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More: 5minutesforparenting.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/ […]…

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL https://parenting.5minutesformom.com/499/rtp-a-dose-of-humor-the-nth-disease/trackback/