Beautiful Carrie

By Megan

I went to find Bean in the waning hours of a neighborhood party last night, in the filtered, sparkling light of dusk, to take her home with us for the night. I crossed the grass of two back yards and saw her shoes haphazardly kicked on the back porch next door and I looked at them for a long time, those shoes a symbol of so much to me – her joy, her freedom, her love of these summer nights (and summer days) among all the people she loves so much.

And then I heard her shrieks of glee and looked up from my reverie to catch a glimpse of her, her wild blonde curls bouncing and blowing in the wind as she ran around a rich, green, grassy corner toward me. In that instant her face absolutely radiated with happiness and belonging – her beautiful smile lighting up every corner of her, and every corner of me, too. I looked at her, thought a moment, and walked back to the party. I just couldn’t be the one to make her leave, this time.

So I sent her father.

He sauntered off and came back minutes later with his daughter in his arms. I looked into her eyes, searching to find out how this abrupt end to the fun time with friends made her feel. She wasn’t grinning anymore, but as she lowered her head to her father’s shoulder and relaxed into the safety and comfort of his strong embrace, I knew she felt as joyful as she had just minutes before, perhaps moreso. And peaceful. She had the peace of knowing she was with her Daddy, who would safely and gently carry her tired little body home.

Al’s mother, Carrie Bell, for whom Bean is named, passed away this morning. She was 90 years old. I know that although she’d grown frail and feeble, her Father found her with a happy, full heart and swept her tired body up in his strong arms to carry her home, just like her precious eighth son did her twenty-something-eth granddaughter less than 12 hours before. I know her face is peaceful, her soul full of joy to be snug in the arms of her Father, whom she has loved and trusted and believed in her whole life long.

Praise God and thank You for Grandma Carrie Bell. Thank you for her strength, which came from you, for her love and faith and joy and wisdom born of sitting at Your feet all through her long and sometimes difficult life. A wonderful mother and wife, she gave her children and husband and extended family and community every ounce of herself, and will forever be one of the standards I’ll hold myself to as I continue to care for her son and grandchildren. Hold her tightly, God, and please be with her family, those who will go on for a while without her and miss her every day, but in whom she still lives on because of her love for You, and for them. Amen.

7 Responses to Beautiful Carrie
  1. Carrie
    June 29, 2009 | 4:27 pm

    Aw, this is so sweet. Sorry about your husband’s mother, but that is wonderful that she is in Heaven, and you will see her someday. Great parallel. 🙂

  2. Hannah
    June 29, 2009 | 5:01 pm

    Oh, my condolences to your husband on his loss … but what a beautiful comfort to know she went so peacefully and into such loving arms.

  3. Mozi Esmes Mommy
    June 29, 2009 | 8:58 pm

    So sweet…

  4. Melissa
    June 30, 2009 | 3:45 pm

    sorry to hear about your in law, but she is defenitely peaceful up there. Nice post for her

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