I Love You More Than My Sunglasses

By Stephanie

Carter lost my sunglasses in Famous Footwear the other day. Doing some last minute shoe shopping (with no success), it was hot, I’m pregnant, and three boys shooting this way and that throughout a shoe store had me way over the edge. I will be honest- although I am also ashamed of it- I was ticked.

I was not nice. I did not say nice things. And I even revoked my promise to take them all to lunch. We went straight home.

I cooled off a bit and fixed a pleasant meal. I looked into the eyes of three little boys that really only want to make Mommy happy. And I told Carter I wasn’t upset anymore. The sunglasses do not matter. I love you more than my sunglasses.

His face brightened and at that moment I realized that he might have been thinking my sunglasses were way more important than they really were. Maybe even I had been thinking that. So silly, because obviously those cheapy sunglasses were completely replaceable. But my Carter is not.

And of course my perspective ebbs and flows and I found myself about to freak out about water spilled in the playroom the next day. But it’s just water. And it’s just carpet. It will dry and be forgotten about tomorrow. My reaction, however, might last forever in my child’s mind.

I want their biggest memories to be love. And forgiveness. And respect. I know that there will be correction and instruction and just being human on my part and theirs. But if the overall theme of their childhood can be loving and safe, that is my hope this very moment. May I remember it in the morning before the first word is spoken. And when I lie down at night I want to feel assured I’ve done well and loved well.

We get one more day. Another chance. More water. More sunglasses. Plenty of starting over. But we have only one of each other. We have only one heart. A heart that is impressionable, teachable, vulnerable… but not replaceable.

Stephanie Precourt blogs at Adventures In Babywearing.

34 Responses to I Love You More Than My Sunglasses
  1. Hannah
    July 18, 2008 | 12:25 am

    Thank you so much, Stephanie. We’ve all been there, and that was beautifully put.

  2. erica
    July 18, 2008 | 1:17 am

    I love this, Steph. I have been struggling lately with too much reprimand, I think…mainly due to my own selfishness. I hope that I too can focus on those little hearts filled with love for me, first thing in the morning….and throughout the day.

  3. Elizabeth
    July 18, 2008 | 1:30 am

    This post reminds me that I’m not the only mom who is imperfect every day. Often after losing my patience I feel the guilt of my words and actions. I don’t want my children to think of me as a grump. Like all of us, I want them to remember their childhood as loving and safe, so I have to make that happen.

  4. Zak
    July 18, 2008 | 2:44 am

    that’s lovely. I’m going to link this. I struggle with this all the time. It’s easy to forget what its like to be little.

  5. midlife mommy
    July 18, 2008 | 6:19 am

    You are so right. Sometimes, it’s just hard to keep things in perspective.

  6. Jennifer, Snapshot
    July 18, 2008 | 6:45 am

    It’s sad to think what we convey without thinking about it. It’s good that you could tell them the truth.

  7. Rhonda
    July 18, 2008 | 6:50 am

    Very well said…and so true. It’s hard to take back words and yes, they are impressionable.

  8. Dawn
    July 18, 2008 | 7:02 am

    It’s so hard to maintain perspective, and our cool, when there’s so MUCH going on in ours lives. This is an awesome post, Steph – and 100% true.

  9. Katy
    July 18, 2008 | 7:03 am

    Oh my goodness, thank you for this post! I have been in that situation so many times–several of them yesterday, actually. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the gentle reminder.

  10. Beck
    July 18, 2008 | 7:41 am

    Oh, I’ve been there SO many times – what a wonderful post.

  11. Farrah
    July 18, 2008 | 8:14 am

    What a great reminder to try to stay present in the moment and not let the little things overshadow the big picture. It is so easy to do, especially when we already have so much on our minds and on our plates as moms. Their little spirits and hearts are so fragile yet so forgiving! Thank God for that. Your boys cherish you… you can be sure of that!

  12. Miche
    July 18, 2008 | 8:33 am

    Steph, that was just beautiful!

  13. Iva
    July 18, 2008 | 9:06 am

    Oh how true this is. They say misery loves company and I think it’s true. Lord knows I’ve lost my cool a time or two. It’s just nice to know that I’m not the only mom to do so!

  14. Rebecca
    July 18, 2008 | 9:11 am

    oh what a beautiful post. i cried. it’s so nice to know i’m not the only mom to totally lose my cool over something so silly. and you are so right…nothing compares to loving our families…there’s only one of them.

  15. Kari
    July 18, 2008 | 9:44 am

    i think every mom can so related to your words, steph! wow, what a gentle reminder to make a big deal about the important things in life like our relationship with our children and not sweat the little stuff. good for you for coming back to the heart of the matter with your cherubs, they will truly remember the love of that moment forever! πŸ™‚ thanks so much for sharing this with us…

  16. Kathryn
    July 18, 2008 | 10:19 am

    I hear you. I actually have a very similar post written that I haven’t added to my blog yet.
    Beautifully said, Steph!

  17. hyperactivelu
    July 18, 2008 | 10:28 am

    Oh goodness. That last paragraph gives me hope…everyday. I can do it again….and learn from my mistakes. Great post and BELIEVE me…we’ve all been there!

  18. Jen
    July 18, 2008 | 10:51 am

    Thank you for this excellent reminder of what really matters.

  19. Kristy
    July 18, 2008 | 11:14 am

    I love this. It’s so true and relevant. Thank you (hug).

  20. Kim
    July 18, 2008 | 11:27 am

    It is so hard to remember this, especially when you’re SO pregnant, hot, tired, hungry (etc.). Thank you for the reminder πŸ™‚

  21. casual friday everyday
    July 18, 2008 | 11:52 am

    I’ve been there, done that. And I’m not proud of it either.

  22. Lizz
    July 18, 2008 | 12:27 pm

    Oh, I think you may have been writing this for me even though you didn’t know it. πŸ™‚ I’ve been thinking lately that my kids may grow up thinking that the most important thing is a tidy house. I tell them otherwise, but my actions don’t show it. Great post. You are so right. The fact that a heart is so impressionable both inspires and terrifies me. Good thing I have a Helper.

  23. Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats
    July 18, 2008 | 1:24 pm

    It’s so hard to walk the fine line between “I love you more than my sunglasses” and teaching kids how to respect other people’s property, etc. Great post.

  24. Jennifer
    July 18, 2008 | 1:35 pm

    This made me cry! Beautifully written, but made me cry because of how quick I am to snap at my kids. I love them so much more than all those little things too, but I know I don’t always show them that. And it hurts! Thanks for the perspective – I need to go hug my kiddos!

  25. Tiffanie
    July 18, 2008 | 3:56 pm

    I have had days like these girl! I have three boys and a baby (sex unknown) on the way and while a lost shoe at the grocery store can produce faces I am quite ashamed of, the faces staring back at me always seem to put things into perspective!

  26. Christina
    July 18, 2008 | 4:29 pm

    I needed this today. Thank you!

  27. Tonya
    July 18, 2008 | 4:32 pm

    Oy I have felt like this more than I would ever care too. Great perspective though.

  28. Kristin
    July 18, 2008 | 5:40 pm

    So true. I was thinking along these lines this morning as I had to bring us all back in the house to change the 4 year olds pants and underwear that he had peed in and not told me on our way to the car to get to VBS on time. I apologized in the car for my reaction. Being on time or a few minutes late, does it really matter?

  29. Michele
    July 18, 2008 | 5:55 pm

    I really needed to read this post. Thank you so much for posting it!

  30. Kelly
    July 18, 2008 | 11:43 pm


  31. Tricia
    July 20, 2008 | 12:26 pm

    Sometimes it is so hard to hold our tongue but it just takes a minute to gather our thoughts and realize we are our children’s world.

    I have to agree that sometimes my children probley think work is more important then them. Thank you for reminding me that my world is my children!!!!!!

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