By Stephanie
Carter lost my sunglasses in Famous Footwear the other day. Doing some last minute shoe shopping (with no success), it was hot, I’m pregnant, and three boys shooting this way and that throughout a shoe store had me way over the edge. I will be honest- although I am also ashamed of it- I was ticked.
I was not nice. I did not say nice things. And I even revoked my promise to take them all to lunch. We went straight home.
I cooled off a bit and fixed a pleasant meal. I looked into the eyes of three little boys that really only want to make Mommy happy. And I told Carter I wasn’t upset anymore. The sunglasses do not matter. I love you more than my sunglasses.
His face brightened and at that moment I realized that he might have been thinking my sunglasses were way more important than they really were. Maybe even I had been thinking that. So silly, because obviously those cheapy sunglasses were completely replaceable. But my Carter is not.
And of course my perspective ebbs and flows and I found myself about to freak out about water spilled in the playroom the next day. But it’s just water. And it’s just carpet. It will dry and be forgotten about tomorrow. My reaction, however, might last forever in my child’s mind.
I want their biggest memories to be love. And forgiveness. And respect. I know that there will be correction and instruction and just being human on my part and theirs. But if the overall theme of their childhood can be loving and safe, that is my hope this very moment. May I remember it in the morning before the first word is spoken. And when I lie down at night I want to feel assured I’ve done well and loved well.
We get one more day. Another chance. More water. More sunglasses. Plenty of starting over. But we have only one of each other. We have only one heart. A heart that is impressionable, teachable, vulnerable… but not replaceable.
Stephanie Precourt blogs at Adventures In Babywearing.
Thank you so much, Stephanie. We’ve all been there, and that was beautifully put.
I love this, Steph. I have been struggling lately with too much reprimand, I think…mainly due to my own selfishness. I hope that I too can focus on those little hearts filled with love for me, first thing in the morning….and throughout the day.
This post reminds me that I’m not the only mom who is imperfect every day. Often after losing my patience I feel the guilt of my words and actions. I don’t want my children to think of me as a grump. Like all of us, I want them to remember their childhood as loving and safe, so I have to make that happen.
that’s lovely. I’m going to link this. I struggle with this all the time. It’s easy to forget what its like to be little.
You are so right. Sometimes, it’s just hard to keep things in perspective.
It’s sad to think what we convey without thinking about it. It’s good that you could tell them the truth.
Very well said…and so true. It’s hard to take back words and yes, they are impressionable.
It’s so hard to maintain perspective, and our cool, when there’s so MUCH going on in ours lives. This is an awesome post, Steph – and 100% true.
Oh my goodness, thank you for this post! I have been in that situation so many times–several of them yesterday, actually. 🙂 Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Oh, I’ve been there SO many times – what a wonderful post.
What a great reminder to try to stay present in the moment and not let the little things overshadow the big picture. It is so easy to do, especially when we already have so much on our minds and on our plates as moms. Their little spirits and hearts are so fragile yet so forgiving! Thank God for that. Your boys cherish you… you can be sure of that!
Steph, that was just beautiful!
Oh how true this is. They say misery loves company and I think it’s true. Lord knows I’ve lost my cool a time or two. It’s just nice to know that I’m not the only mom to do so!
oh what a beautiful post. i cried. it’s so nice to know i’m not the only mom to totally lose my cool over something so silly. and you are so right…nothing compares to loving our families…there’s only one of them.
i think every mom can so related to your words, steph! wow, what a gentle reminder to make a big deal about the important things in life like our relationship with our children and not sweat the little stuff. good for you for coming back to the heart of the matter with your cherubs, they will truly remember the love of that moment forever! 🙂 thanks so much for sharing this with us…
I hear you. I actually have a very similar post written that I haven’t added to my blog yet.
Beautifully said, Steph!
Oh goodness. That last paragraph gives me hope…everyday. I can do it again….and learn from my mistakes. Great post and BELIEVE me…we’ve all been there!
Thank you for this excellent reminder of what really matters.
I love this. It’s so true and relevant. Thank you (hug).
It is so hard to remember this, especially when you’re SO pregnant, hot, tired, hungry (etc.). Thank you for the reminder 🙂
I’ve been there, done that. And I’m not proud of it either.
Oh, I think you may have been writing this for me even though you didn’t know it. 🙂 I’ve been thinking lately that my kids may grow up thinking that the most important thing is a tidy house. I tell them otherwise, but my actions don’t show it. Great post. You are so right. The fact that a heart is so impressionable both inspires and terrifies me. Good thing I have a Helper.
It’s so hard to walk the fine line between “I love you more than my sunglasses” and teaching kids how to respect other people’s property, etc. Great post.
This made me cry! Beautifully written, but made me cry because of how quick I am to snap at my kids. I love them so much more than all those little things too, but I know I don’t always show them that. And it hurts! Thanks for the perspective – I need to go hug my kiddos!
I have had days like these girl! I have three boys and a baby (sex unknown) on the way and while a lost shoe at the grocery store can produce faces I am quite ashamed of, the faces staring back at me always seem to put things into perspective!
I needed this today. Thank you!
Oy I have felt like this more than I would ever care too. Great perspective though.
So true. I was thinking along these lines this morning as I had to bring us all back in the house to change the 4 year olds pants and underwear that he had peed in and not told me on our way to the car to get to VBS on time. I apologized in the car for my reaction. Being on time or a few minutes late, does it really matter?
I really needed to read this post. Thank you so much for posting it!
Perfect!
Sometimes it is so hard to hold our tongue but it just takes a minute to gather our thoughts and realize we are our children’s world.
I have to agree that sometimes my children probley think work is more important then them. Thank you for reminding me that my world is my children!!!!!!
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