Ten Tips for Mothers Expecting Their Second Babies

By Megan

“Wow, looks like my humor has really missed the mark this time! I hope some mothers will still find my suggestions below helpful, even though my slight exaggerations in the interest of a laugh seem to be detracting from the original intent behind my post.

Having a second baby is wonderful and fun and rewarding. I love both of my children very much and enjoy being their mother. Heck, I even think THEY enjoy me being their mother!

These are just some suggestions for families expecting their second children. If you can get by without some or all of them, awesome. For me, I liked the extra support that I got and can think of some other things now I wish I’d had in place earlier.

I’d love to hear how YOU did it, particularly those who have found the transition fairly easy.”

Several friends and acquaintances of mine who have just one child have announced they’re expecting their second children. And I am so, so happy for all of them, because I’m about eight months into this second child experiment and we’re all still alive and have had some really amazingly wonderful times amongst all the chaos and our kids love one another and I still remember my husband’s name (Phil, wait, no AL,  Al, that’s it!). But I also wish I could somehow prepare my friends for what’s coming in that first year after baby number two is born.

Gently.

Without scaring off all of their body hair.

Much of the literature written for expectant parents addresses bringing home a SECOND baby only in the context of helping create a smooth transition for the first child, but not for the parents. And it’s a big transition – for me, it’s been much bigger than the transition from no children to one child. Yes, really! So I’m going to share a few thoughts of my own, and I hope you all will share your own experiences and insights as well in the comments.

#1 – In thinking of the right person or people to have around at the time that your second child is born, you will want to select the person or people who can best provide the attention, entertainment, love, and care that your first child will need not only while you’re away (or laboring and delivering and recovering at home, if you’re having a homebirth). When your first baby was born, you needed someone to take care of YOU. This time, you (and your spouse or partner) will take care of yourself and the baby, and Grandmother or Auntie or BFF will take care of your older child. Also, you will need this person (or a series of people) around off and on for two months, not two weeks. I’m just setting the expectation here!

#2 – Arrange in advance for your older child (particularly if she’s normally at home with you all day vs. in school or day care) to have regular play dates at the homes of her friends or even several-day stays with grandparents or family well into the second or third month of the new baby’s life. You WILL be able to give your first born plenty of love in these first few months, but you WON’T be able to occupy and entertain her on your own all day every day and she will need to get out of the house. Some boredom/lack of routine/wandering around aimlessly while you work for two hours to feed and get the baby to sleep is okay for child number one, but day after day of it will wear you both down in a hurry.

#3 – Have a plan for grocery shopping. Find an online grocery site or a local market that delivers. Prepare your spouse with a detailed list, or get a friend or family member to shop for you. You do NOT want to attempt a trip to the grocery store with both of your kids until baby #2 is at least 4 months old. It can be done. I did it. And I never, ever, EVER want to do it again. You will have enough to do – delegate this duty for awhile.

#4 – While preparing your older child for the arrival of his baby sibling, you may want to do some simple sleep-training with him. By this, I mean, if age-appropriate, your first child should be sleeping through the night in his own crib or bed and know to stay in his room until you say he may come out. We didn’t do this, and night-parenting a newborn got even tougher with another little one appearing at our bedside and needing shepherding back to her bed and/or soothing back to sleep. Also, consider finding a way to curb early-rising tendencies in the older sibling (or train him to play quietly in his room until a certain hour), as you don’t want child number one getting up for the day just as you’re finally getting child number two down for the night.

#5 – Along with your stock of frozen family dinners, plan to have some smaller, healthy, easy meals on hand for you and your older child to eat during the day time. Our neighbors provided the evening meal for my family for nearly a full month, and I quickly learned to package up smaller portions of those meals as we ate them for my lunch the next day. Whatever you can do to have all of your child’s meals ready-to-eat on demand will save a lot of his tears and your Mama-guilt.

#6 – Build up a nice Treasure Chest of new (or new-to-him) books, toys, games (that can be played alone), puzzles, treats, etc. for your older child, so that you will have it to pull from when you’re busy with baby and the older sibling needs something to do. Also, if you aren’t strictly a no-TV family, get some new age-appropriate movies and videos, as well. We also taught Bean how to turn on our portable DVD player so that she could watch movies or DVDs of her favorite kids’ shows on her own. As long as you mix TV in with other activities like reading, coloring, or playing, it can be an okay form of entertainment, and it’s the ONE activity that may actually allow you a shower or a nap, because it can normally command a child’s undivided attention for at least 30 minutes.

#7 – Spend plenty of alone time with your spouse before the baby comes. And prepare yourselves and one another for things to be really different between the two of you for many months to come. You’ve probably parented your first child together in many ways. Now you must learn the art of dividing and conquering, with each parent often focused on the care of a different child. This was, I think, the biggest and most painful part of the adjustment for me. Talk and think about this before it happens. After the baby comes, do try to find snippets of time to spend alone together when you can. When you can’t, try to find ways to laugh and smile and remind each other that these chaotic days won’t last forever. Because they won’t. At least I’m hoping not!

#8 – I am not kidding. Have a chocolate stash for JUST YOU. If you don’t love chocolate, then stockpile your own particularly comfort food. There will come times in the first few months when that stash will be the only thing that keeps you from crumbling into a heap on the kitchen floor.

#9 – Let the big kid help with the baby. Familiarize big sis with the layout of the baby’s room or area so that if you need something, she can get it for you. Teach her how to put on baby socks. Show her how to wind up a music box and play it for the baby. You will be surprised, after a while, how willing and capable even a small child can be when entrusted with a few age-appropriate tasks, and how much everyone will benefit and thrive as big sibling helps care for little sibling. I had heard this before and thought it sounded okay, but really, it’s more than okay – it’s vital.

#10 –   Remember, always, these two things:  You are HUMAN. Only human. You can do a lot of things, but you can’t do it all. Your children will be fine. Baby may have to cry for a little while, and Older Child may have to wear his pajamas and eat nothing but goldfish crackers and string cheese for three days straight, but they’ll be fine, they will know they’re loved, and they’ll never remember the time you hid in the pantry for 25 minutes eating stale croutons directly out of the box and sobbing uncontrollably. Really. Also, THIS IS TEMPORARY. Babies grow up, little kids become bigger kids, and Mamas get more confident and efficient. You’ll feel normal again, just like you did as your first child approached the one-year mark. TEMPORARY.

I’m going to continue to think about this topic because I think there’s plenty more that I could share. Maybe I’ll do a part two next week. In the meantime, do any other mothers of more than one child have thoughts on this topic they want to share, or do any moms-of-one have specific questions for me and other readers on how to handle the transition from one to two children?

45 Responses to Ten Tips for Mothers Expecting Their Second Babies
  1. Laurel
    April 6, 2009 | 4:10 am

    I think your premise and purpose are GREAT. However, I don’t want to scare off mommies that might not have the benefits available to you.

    Some mommies don’t have any involved aunts, grandmas, or BFFs to help with the older child.

    Some mommies don’t have people they can regularly schedule play dates with.

    Some mommies MUST take both babies to the grocery store, if they want their family to eat.

    Some mommies don’t have nice neighbors to make them meals for a month.

    I am the blessed mama of 13 children (ages 7-24) and we have no involved aunts, grandmas, BFFs, or neighbors. But, I survived every new baby with my sanity intact (even when I had 5 babies under 5 years old and NO help at home).

    Also … while it is a different kind of transition to add the 2nd child … any mother of 3 or more will tell you that going from 2 to 3 children is actually the most difficult. Seriously! Adding the 3rd child was definitely the most challenging transition (except when adding twins).

    Blessings to ALL young mamas out there …whether adding a 2nd, a 3rd, or their 10th child. Children ARE a blessing!

    Laurel
    mama of 13

  2. Jessica
    April 6, 2009 | 6:46 am

    Laurel, thank you for sharing that! I am pregnant with my third and have been hearing about how much harder it is than adding the second. I was feeling pretty nervous but then I read your comment. If you can do it with 13, surely I can rely on God to help me with 3!!!! I think I will call my mother and beg her to come live with us for 2 months!! LOL

  3. Elisa
    April 6, 2009 | 7:35 am

    Wow. I found this post a bit scary… and I have two children, born 17 months apart.

    Aside from the internet grocery shopping (wouldn’t do it any other way!!), I don’t have any of that help you are describing (people cooking meals, entertaining the older child, etc.). Just me and my husband, dividing and conquering. Without TV or DVDs either.

    For us, I think the most important thing is developing patience in our children (in my opinion, this could be helped by our not using DVDs or TV). They realise that food has to be prepared – unless it’s breastmilk, it’s not instant. They know that Mama can’t help one just now because the other one just fell over, or whatever. We sing the ‘have patience’ song, and we do things together.

    Our third is on the way, so we won’t be able to use the ‘I’ll take this one, you deal with that one’ approach anymore when my husband is home to help. I’ve heard the third one makes you or breaks you. We’ll see!

    I guess I just want to say, like Laurel, that two is totally do-able, even without all the extra help. Take it easy on yourself, and don’t expect too much too soon.

    Best wishes to those who just have or are about to add another child to their family!!

  4. Megan
    April 6, 2009 | 7:53 am

    Hey y’all! Let me just add a few thoughts here. It was not my intent to scare anyone, but to (humorously!) prepare them and help list some resources that might ease the transition so that other mothers aren’t as blind-sided and overwhelmed in the first few months as I was. I didn’t have many of the resources I’ve listed above – I just wish, in retrospect, that I had, as perhaps these helpful things may have made those first months a little easier. Probably no one can have all of them, but to have one or two in place may make all the difference.

  5. Cyndi
    April 6, 2009 | 8:47 am

    My only addition, which you implied, is to accept help when someone offers it. Even if a friend just comes over and holds the baby for 30 min so you can fold laundry and chat.

  6. Julia
    April 6, 2009 | 9:01 am

    Wow, the perspective behind a list like this really doesn’t line up with my experience of having a 2nd baby. My 2nd is 4 months old now and although it hasn’t been a cake walk, I feel like it must have been WAY easier than your transition to two. The first 2-child grocery shopping trip was rough (at around the one-month mark), but now it doesn’t seem hard at all– my 3-year-old sitting in the cart and my new baby in the sling. My 3-year-old does sleep pretty well at this point, but if she does wake up, my husband helps her back to sleep while I stick with the normal rhythm of my new baby’s nighttime feeding habits. I am certainly sorry that your experience was so challenging, but every baby (and 1st child) is different and it’s not always hard. Well, at least not always as hard as this list seems to indicate.

  7. Jeni
    April 6, 2009 | 9:03 am

    Megan, thanks for posting this list. We’re expecting #2 in about 5 weeks, and I’ve been wondering about specific things to make the transition easier. Thankfully, we ARE blessed to have family nearby, and my daughter already enjoys spending the night at Grandma’s house about once a week.

    And Cyndi, good idea about accepting help. I wasn’t very good at accepting help when #1 was born, but this time around I think it might be a lifesaver!

  8. Julie
    April 6, 2009 | 9:36 am

    I think you are right on target, Megan. I am a momma of two and I struggled with most of what you wrote about. When I read your post, I recognized the humor in it and knew that it was a WISH list. Obviously most of us did/would not have all of the support you listed, but wouldn’t it have been nice if we had?! Instead, when we are in the middle of those moments we can maintain a sense of perspective.

    For me the biggest struggle has been with how my relationship has changed with my oldest. She was the one and only for 5 years – my own little mini-me. I often wonder if it would make a difference if my 2nd had been a boy instead of another girl because she would have maintained exclusive rights to the mother/daughter bond, at least. However, at 18 months into this two children experiment, I am finally beginning to come to grips with the fact that my relationship with my oldest will never be the SAME. Instead, I am learning to embrace the changes and let go of some of the guilt. Besides, the sister-bond I see growing between my girls is a nearly magical one; it kinda makes me jealous! 🙂

  9. Cassie Griffin
    April 6, 2009 | 9:39 am

    Megan, I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY with you! I have experienced the same struggles, uphills, downhills, sideways, backwards and forwards! The hardest struggle so far has been trying to keep the time alone with my husband and I sacred! I am still trying to figure it out! Thanks for your honesty and always trying to make things light and funny, (even when some of us feel like we want to cry!)

  10. Megan
    April 6, 2009 | 9:47 am

    Yay! I’m not the only one, after all! 🙂

  11. Mozi Esmes Mommy
    April 6, 2009 | 9:55 am

    Thanks for the great tips – I love the humor in this!

  12. Kira
    April 6, 2009 | 10:01 am

    I went from 1 to 3 when I had twin girls 3 months ago. For me, it’s been much easier than the transition from none to one (and, yes, I am nursing them exclusively). My oldest has developmental delays, so we have always had a great schedule for her. We just made adjustments to fit in the babies.

    What made the biggest difference for me was that I decided (when we found out it was twins) I was going to handle things just fine. If you force yourself to have the attitude that you can handle anything, you can. And pretty soon, you don’t have to force it.

    The second (and third) time around is so much more fun. You know what you’re doing and you worry less. You don’t feel the need to dress your sleeping newborn is 20 little adorable outfits every day. My twins hang out in footies, get licked on the face by the dogs, and poked by their sister. I would have freaked out with my first, now I just laugh. I’m having so much fun.

  13. A&EMom
    April 6, 2009 | 10:04 am

    I’m super glad that there are mommies out there that haven’t had difficulties adding new members to their families.

    I did. It was hard. H.A.R.D.

    I didn’t have this list to make me feel like I wasn’t all alone and the worst, most incompetent mom on the planet. I wish there had been more moms around me that had been more willing to be honest instead of afraid to scare me with the truth. I’d just hate for people to dive into parenthood with a little wariness or caution! While I did eventually speak up about the tough time I was having only to have friends agree that it’s not easy – I would’ve preferred to have the information beforehand. In the trenches, it’s nice to know that it’s not supposed to look like a detergent commercial.

  14. Lerin
    April 6, 2009 | 10:30 am

    This list had me laughing all the way! Oh the memories of going from one to two… and beyond.

    I am actually expecting baby number four now, and I am one of the parents who thought it got easier with each baby rather than more difficult. My first baby threw me into a state of shock… blissful happiness, but also shock! I got the hang of being someone’s mom pretty fast though, and have dedicated my days to doing this OVER AND OVER. It is such a joy to be blessed again and again with beautiful gifts from God!

    I think the best point in this post is, we don’t have to be “perfect.” It is OKAY to be “good enough,” and okay to give yourself a break with chocolate and asking for all the help you can get… and NOT turning it down when it is offered!

    And the most important thing of all? Maintain your sense of humor! 😉

  15. Mari
    April 6, 2009 | 11:08 am

    I think these are great tips. Like you said – most everyone will not have all of these things but having some in place will help. I thought going from 1 to 2 kids was the hardest also – much harder that the first one. When we added our third – it was a lot easier. I do love yoru sense of humor and I think that helps!

  16. Sue
    April 6, 2009 | 11:18 am

    Megan, I think these are great tips and I have to think all moms have had some adjustment difficulties at some point- whether it was after their first, second or tenth child. It probably depends on so many factors- mom’s personality, kids’ temperaments, time between births, etc.

  17. Kelly
    April 6, 2009 | 11:31 am

    Oh my word, Megan. I think this is a GREAT list. Like you said, it’s probably not 100% do-able. (But hey, that’s never stopped me from reading Martha Stewart’s “Living” either.) But it contains lots of great tips for anyone getting ready to bring home a baby, whether it be #1 or #11.

    That said, I will add that the second baby is different for everyone. It didn’t really phase me. (Nor did number three.)

    Those first few weeks are always tough, because they are a transition. But we managed to make do, even without any outside help. (We have no family in the area, and we tend to move each time I’m pregnant, so I don’t have any friends in the area yet when I give birth.)

    And like you said, it’s WORTH it. Everyone has bad days. But in the end, listening to your children laugh together makes the transition seem like nothing.

  18. T with Honey
    April 6, 2009 | 12:16 pm

    You wrote this post just for me, didn’t you? 😉

    Thanks!! It gave me a few things to think about.

    In fact I realized that having Honey home with us every day is an amazing blessing. I remember that first day when he returned to the office after Princess was born. I cried. I called him that afternoon in tears. It was awful.
    That will never happen this time since his office is now in our home! I can easily sneak away for a quick grocery shopping trip right after the baby falls asleep as long as he doesn’t have any meetings scheduled – just in case baby wakes up as soon as my car escapes the driveway.

  19. crookedeyebrow
    April 6, 2009 | 2:02 pm

    With my #2 on the way, I think this is a great list! Now I’m thinking I should talk to my neighbors before the baby come for some home cooked meals!

    😀

  20. Jenny-Jenny
    April 6, 2009 | 2:30 pm

    Great advice. Especially in involving child #1. And advice for the friends of families bringing home #2, when you give a baby gift… have something small for child #1 also. They really need to feel important and part of this experience!

  21. Sarah
    April 6, 2009 | 4:20 pm

    I’m in month 2 of having a second child. I think all your advice is dead on target. DEAD ON. It is tough. I think those who are commenting about how easy they transitioned from one child to two are full of it! I’m just saying!

  22. Melissa
    April 6, 2009 | 4:31 pm

    Megan, I think this is a wonderful list. I’ve got a couple of friends expecting #2, and I’m going to forward it to them.
    I really appreciate A&E saying that this list (and similar conversations) is CRITICAL when talking about any number of children. So many of us don’t REALLY know what we’re doing from one day (or moment) to the next, and to think that everyone else has it figured out is a mistake, and sets us up for failure (and depression!). We need to share our stories, and, thus, share the burden of motherhood. We can’t do this alone — we need our fellow moms to show us the way!
    Thanks, Megan, for illuminating the deep, dark tunnel of mother-to-two-hood. :o)

  23. A&EMom
    April 6, 2009 | 5:11 pm

    Thanks Melissa! I just popped on here real quick to tell you all that Oprah is doing a story today about the Reality Of Motherhood!

  24. Alice
    April 6, 2009 | 5:45 pm

    I HAVE to comment here and say that going from 1 to 2 children was so incredibly hard for me! I struggled terribly! Having my first baby was also difficult for me to adjust to, but 1 to 2 was a REALLY hard transition. They were 19 months apart. I wish I would have thought to train #1 in complete independence with sleeping! That would have been a major sanity saver for me. The small age gap probably helped in some ways, but I felt horribly guilty all the time that my 1.5 year old was sitting on his own unsupervised while I spent what seemed like hours with a screaming inconsolable baby upstairs at nap times! It was so hard. It got waaaay better after about 6 months, and then it was so good that we had another 19 month age gap for baby #3! 🙂

    I did a lot of asking around on forums while pregnant with baby #3 and I am not sure where Laurel has heard the “baby #3 is the hardest” thing, because on all the different forums I went to, overwhelmingly the response was that 1-2 is the hardest transition and adding 3, 4 or 5 is a piece of cake in comparison! Some found adding #3 hard in that it’s an outnumbering of the parents, though. Personally, I was so nervous after the extreme difficulty of adding a second baby, so I was really surprised when adding #3 was a complete joy and I did not struggle at all! 🙂 Adding #4 with a similar age gap in a few months, and hoping that what everyone says is true about #4 and beyond being “a piece of cake” compared with the first couple of kids!

    It’s a bit off-topic, sorry! But I wanted to add my thoughts. The guilt-factor is the hardest thing in the early months of having a second baby. It helps so much to know you’re not alone, your children will not be scarred for life, and it will get better! It’s not an easy job, even though it’s a wonderful blessing at the same time! 🙂

  25. Audrey
    April 6, 2009 | 6:12 pm

    Wow, thank you for posting this! Unfortunately, most of these things will not be possible for us. With our first, we had a huge church family that helped us with everything from laundry to meals. We had tons of family nearby (if I wanted a break from changing diapers, my sister-in-law, who loved babies, lived about 20 feet from my back door!), and we were very prepared and settled in our home, which made things easier. Now, I’m am due with our second in October. My daughter will be 27 months old when this baby comes, and sometime in July or August we will be moving 2 hours away from everything we’ve ever known. We will be moving to a new apartment, going to a brand-new church (who, hopefully, will be willing to help, but I do not expect it), and we will know absolutely no one. We have one vehicle, and grocery shopping online will not be possible, so we will have to go to the store. In the town we’re in, if I have a doctor appointment and my husband has to work, I have plenty of people who I can call to give me a ride. However, after we move, I will have nobody.
    With that said, do you have any trips on surviving the second child alone, just you and your husband? I hate having to leave my support system behind, but God is calling us to move to an unfamiliar place, and I’d hate to miss out on the blessings He has for us there.

  26. Amy from Occupation: Mommy
    April 6, 2009 | 8:58 pm

    I agree with this ENTIRE post. I have three daughters and the transition from one to two children was soooo difficult. They are 25 months apart, and I felt like it took me almost two years to really feel like I was back to normal. But now, it is soooo worth it. They are 6.5 and 4.5 and are absolutely inseparable.

    I found the transition from 2 to 3 was a breeze in comparison. The older two (almost 5 and almost 3 at the time) LOVED helping me with their baby sister, and were actually helpful.

    Another thing I think makes a huge difference is the spacing between children. A 25 month old is very different from a 32 month old, even though it doesn’t seem like it would make much of a difference.

  27. Erin kewer
    April 6, 2009 | 9:26 pm

    thanks for sharing this great information

  28. Megan
    April 6, 2009 | 10:18 pm

    As someone said above, I am happy to hear that the transition from one to two is so seamless for some. That genuinely makes me happy for those mothers.

    As for me? It knocked me on my buns. No lie. I still get overwhelmed, and my second is nineteen months old! And what’s more is that I had a TON of great support in place – MIL stayed for two weeks, friends brought food for two weeks after that, friends came to get my oldest for play dates . . .

    You know what though? It honestly was not that newborn stage that was the hardest. The hard part, for me, was when youngest got mobile. THAT’S when the hardest part of mothering two set in for me.

    (sorry if that scares YOU, Megan! I know Peabody isn’t quite there yet.)

    All of that is to say I think you have hit on an important point: lean on the resources you have available and be gracious and gentle with yourself, your husband, and your children.

    And I can’t get out of here without a babywearing plug: I wore my youngest in a mei tai carrier from the time she was two weeks old and outings with my two girls were not too bad. It especially helped to wear her while grocery shopping because then I didn’t have to lug around that big ol’ carrier car seat AND groceries!

  29. Carrie
    April 6, 2009 | 10:26 pm

    Megan, thanks for posting this – we’re hoping for baby #2 before too long, so this is very helpful. I had a SUPER – hard transition to being a mom after my son was born, emotionally. And being a parent has changed me & grown me more than any other experience in my life, so I always assume the 2nd will be super-easy compared to the first. And I know I’ll make it through, since I now have the perspective you talked about that this stage IS temporary. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!!!

  30. Beck
    April 7, 2009 | 9:41 am

    Great post, Megan. I found my first child by far the hardest transition, but going from one to two was certainly not EASY – it was made easier, though, by having grandparents around that time and by my husband having a lighter work schedule. It was a blessing to have more help, certainly!

  31. edj
    April 7, 2009 | 9:52 am

    I only had two children for about 5 minutes, then twin B was born and voila! I was mum to 3. So I can’t exactly relate; my experience was quite unique. But I think each mom will find tricks that work for her. For example, when I was nursing the twins, I would have my oldest sit at my feet with a book. As long as I could see what page he was on, I knew the words to say. It kept everyone happy and occupied and busy. I would not have thought of that beforehand, but it came to me one day.
    You’ll be amazed at how creative you are! 🙂 There’s a reason they say necessity is the MOTHERhood of invention 😉
    Also, it only gets easier. They’re 13 and 12 (twins) now, and I often send THEM to the store for me!

  32. Angela
    April 7, 2009 | 4:59 pm

    Hi Megan and other mommies…

    Kinda new to reading this site, but liked the post. I’m having my 4th in a few weeks and can honestly say I’m wondering what to expect “this time around.”

    I think it is HUGE to account for children’s tempraments and their ages when talking about adding to the family. I’m sure the lady with 18 kids had it hard with the first 5 or 6, but once the older ones can help, etc (or maybe just communicate and go to the bathroom un-assisted) it IS easier.

    My other kids are 7, 4 and 2. The first two are boys…not quite as “nurturing” to baby as maybe little girls are, but they do help. The difference between a 3 yr gap and a 2 year gap is HUGE as well. I had a much harder time adding #3 b/c #2 was JUST turning 2 yrs old when she was born. She was a good baby though, so I felt more pressure to try to work with #2 and chase his hyper little self around than to care for her! Now she’s 2 and is running around herself (especially in parking lots) and the older two are fighting like cats and dogs one minute and best friends the next. JUST when you get the hang of the “family dynamic” it seems to change. That’s life though and a good and positive attitude (when possible) DOES help. I’ve psyched myself up in front of a mirror a few times before a trip to the grocery…LOL (Or I’ve went to the store at 10pm when they are in bed and hubby is home!)

    Good list Megan…we’re all in this together and it ain’t no piece of cake, but it is rewarding. Remember the line from “A League of Their Own?” He says “Of COURSE it’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. If it was easy, then everyone would do it. It’s the HARD that makes it GREAT.” THAT is my MOTTO! 🙂

  33. Ashleigh (Heart and Home)
    April 7, 2009 | 7:08 pm

    Part of the reason I love you, Megan, is because it’s been encouraging to me to watch a friend go through this transition at relatively the same time and to know I’m not the only one who has struggled with going from one to two. I was shocked–FLABERGASTED–by how hard it was for me. I heartily second your suggestions, because most people can take at least one or two of them and make their life a bit easier. I also concur with the Megan@SC–Baby #2 LIVED in his sling. In fact, at 17mos, he still hangs out there when I need an “extra set of arms.” I had to start grocery shopping solo at six weeks because Hubs was in Iraq, and could NOT have done it without wearing my baby.

    Also: No matter what anyone implies here or elsewhere, there really is no such thing as Supermom. 😉

  34. Erin
    April 7, 2009 | 7:44 pm

    Thank you SO MUCH! This is such a great list. We are TTC #2 (first biological baby for us as we adopted our daughter) and I am so worried about going from 1 to 2 because of our daughter’s special needs. She is 8 but we have only had her for 3 years, so we feel ready to add to our family but it is still overwhelming. I love your tips and appreciate your insight!

  35. Rachel
    April 7, 2009 | 8:37 pm

    Thanks for posting this!!! I know that I will need these when I have a second one, because the first was hard for me!
    Great post.

  36. Amanda - VintageDutchGirl
    April 7, 2009 | 11:55 pm

    Praise the Lord and Hallelujah that was amazing.

    We are 4 months into having 2 children (the first being just over 2) and its been a rough transition. Juggling two is a crazy dance.

  37. Laura V.
    April 9, 2009 | 4:52 pm

    Megan, I’m sorry you’ve gotten a little bit of flack for this post, but I totally get it! I was very fortunate in my transition from 1 to 2 because #1 is a GREAT sleeper and wonderful listener and can occupy himself easily. However, my transition to #3 has been very challenging. But, it’s not the baby that has caused the chaos, it’s the very strong willed almost 3 year old. The baby is a breeze- she’s about to be 7 months and has to be the most laid back baby I’ve ever met! My thought is God totally knows what He’s doing b/c He knew I needed an easy one since I was going to have to deal with the shenanigans of #2!!

  38. Laura
    April 9, 2009 | 9:09 pm

    Megan, Thanks so much! Your post is great. I just had baby #2 3 weeks ago. It is a very hard transition. I’ve had some of the support that you listed, but like everyone else in the world, I didn’t have it all. It has been very hard. Thanks for including the part about you not having the sleep schedule down pat for the older kid. It makes me feel better. My oldest slept well at night (until about a week and a half ago when she decided not to go to sleep at bedtime, but to stay awake in her crib), but we rock her to put her to sleep for her nap. This isn’t good when baby #2 needs to be fed, changed, burped, etc… at the same time that the other is being rocked. My husband is usually home for lunch and puts her down. Today was the first day that he was not home. She never did fall asleep on her own and got no nap today.

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