Buses and Bloggers: A Proposal

By Veronica

Do you ever get weary of the wrangling and arguing on blogs? A week ago, a blog-friend and I considered having our own fake internet fight, but were too tired by real blog squabbling to even mock it adequately. All those people filled with pompous judgment can wear a reader out.

So I was pretty excited to discover a way to carry the terse, mean-spirited hate-match of crazy blog comments into the public space, while benefiting the environment AT THE SAME TIME. It’s like a sanctimony extravaganza!

Apparently in Britain and in the US some ideologues with extra pocket money have been paying for advertisements on buses to express their deeply held beliefs. I find this extremely helpful since I base my own crank ideas convictions entirely on the messages written on passing vehicles. In fact, that is my first deeply held belief – a kind of prime directive, if you will: words written on automobiles must be obeyed.

I admit I have seen more than one bumper sticker that left me a little confused, and I still haven’t figured out what exactly Calvin is trying to tell me by peeing in public, but hey! What is a deeply held belief if you don’t commit to it when it makes no sense?

ANYWAY, the competing bus advertisements all financially support mass transit, which, as you know, is always underfunded. The longer the bus-message squabbles go on, the more cash the bus company can use to make bus routes practical, efficient and less like riding in a sweat-soaked dustbin.

So I’ve decided that our most vitriolic blog commenters should be in on this. Wouldn’t you feel better about the whole circumcision debate if you knew that the all-caps “CIRCUMCISION IS MUTILATION” was paying for your child to live in a less smoggy city? Or the crazy misspelled “frmula is lik rat poison!!!1!! you don’t deserv to hve kids!!” was funding a much-needed city service? This idea is gold, I tell you.

I admit we may have a hard time convincing the trolls and flamers earnestly helpful and wise commenters to put up the money. If you have any ideas for me about that, please post them on the side of the nearest city service vehicle.

It’s just the best way to get a hold of me.

If Veronica had taken her undergraduate advisor’s suggestion and done a push-up for every sarcastic crack she made, her arms would have fallen off from exhaustion and she would never have had the chance to blog for 5MFP and her personal blog, Toddled Dredge.

8 Responses to Buses and Bloggers: A Proposal
  1. edj
    March 17, 2009 | 7:29 am

    I LOVE this idea!! I, too, respond well to words written on vehicles, and I can’t count the number of times I’ve had my mind changed entirely by a simple little bumper sticker. So this makes total sense to me! I just hope people really do it.

  2. Beck
    March 17, 2009 | 7:53 am

    Bumper stickers – and words on buses – totally determine every bit of my personal philosophy. I now visualize whirled peas, deeply respect that your child is an honour student, and heart Canadian beef.
    Sadly, my trolls are thwarted by my banning anonymous comments on my blog, which I did because I’m just a total coward.

  3. Emily E.
    March 17, 2009 | 9:00 am

    LMAO! Thank you for a good laugh to start my day.

  4. Happy Geek
    March 17, 2009 | 7:46 pm


  5. All Rileyed Up
    March 18, 2009 | 12:27 am

    I was particularly moved by your reference to the peeing Calvin. I never got that either. In addition to bumper stickers, I’d also like to add vanity plates to the ‘ways to put your message out there that, in the end, only get made fun of’ category of things.

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