A Dose of Humor – Why People Pay Money for Gym Memberships.

Katie is a stay at home Mom to a daughter with a big personality and wife to a man who plays way too much Boggle because he loves her. You can find her embarrassing herself daily at Heart Gone Walking with tales of young motherhood and a shameful number of Britney Spears references.

It was a New Year’s resolution to do Pilates exercises at home this year. Someone told me gyms are full on Jan. 1 and empty by Valentine’s Day so I was determined to keep my resolution until at least Feb. 14.

I gave up on Feb. 15. (Note to self: set goals higher.)

So I decided to start again. I dusted off my Pilates video but found it’s a little different with a toddler.

PILATES VIDEO: Now that you are sitting perfectly upright, gently roll backwards into a lying position. Envision your back as a string of pearls as you carefully lower it to the floor.

KATIE: Ugh! Ow! Madeline! Please don’t sit on Mommy’s tummy.

End result: Snapping upright to recover from having a 25-pound load of moving arms and legs dropped in my stomach and then falling backwards like a string of pearls dropped from a high tower and splattered across the ground.

PILATES VIDEO: Gently roll up and over your knees so that your chest nearly rests above your knees and stretch your fingers past your toes.

KATIE: Madeline, please don’t climb on my back. It’s not time for a piggy-back ride. Ow! Let go of my hair!

End result: Once Madeline was pulled off my back, I looked more like a “greater than” symbol than someone sweetly folding themselves in half.

PILATES VIDEO: Lying on your back, stretch one leg straight above and circle your leg. Pretend to draw a circle no wider than your shoulders in the air.

KATIE: Madeline! Don’t grab Mommy’s leg! No, don’t climb between my legs. Ow! Sit next to me, not on top of me.

End result: My leg was never straight, much less circling. Apparently, the sight of one leg in the air is ridiculously funny and had to be pulled down. Repeatedly.

That’s about as far as I got but I’m determined to try again tomorrow.

Only this time I’ll accept the fact that Pilates makes me look like a human jungle gym. So she’ll be in her high chair. Strapped down. Surrounded by mountains of Cheerios. Wish me luck.

This post was originally published on September 16, 2008 at Heart Gone Walking.

If you would like to be considered for A Dose of Humor, email Rachel for more details at DoseOfHumor (at) gmail (dot) com.