By Megan
So, if you’ve happened by my home blog FriedOkra since Thursday, you’ll recognize a few of the events of this post. Apparently I’m something of a psychic, because no sooner had I hit publish on it than a boatload of roto-cooties invaded Bean, and Peabody just gave up sleep altogether, once and for all.
At one point Sunday morning, as I blearily peeled vomit-soaked sheets off my bed and hauled them down to the laundry room, past the door of Bean’s room (where I finally had to camp out from 5 to 6 AM after having been up and down from my own bed no less than six times since midnight, with one kid or the other), I thought to myself Well, so this is it. This is parenting two kids. These sleepless nights, these goopy, droopy mornings. These bloodshot eyes with their attendant bluey-grey bags, these crusty pajama bottoms, everything about me sagging floorward. Here I am. I have arrived.
I dragged myself unshowered and un-primped to the grocery store to buy the weekly food supply along with saltines and gingerale, wearily pushing my cart up and down the aisles, struggling to remember everything we needed in my worn, hazy state. I trudged out to my car, loaded up my haul and drove home quietly over the blanched grey landscape of my home-away-from-home town. Dragged the bags up the steps and through the laundry room and into the kitchen, unloaded them, re-stocked the pantry, cleaned out the fridge and loaded it up again.
I grabbed up a little deck of three-letter-word reading flashcards I’d picked out for Bean at the store and I carried them to her with a cup of gingerale, complete with bendy straw, and sat beside her on the sofa, adjusting her soft white blanket, pressing my lips to her pink-flushed forehead, stroking her wild blonde curls away from her beautiful green eyes as I looked deep into them.
And my cold, sullen heart melted.
Behind me, Peabody yipped and squealed over his morning oatmeal, and I looked up to see him banging his purple and orange and green ring toy on the tray of his highchair as a ray of sunshine fell across his face and across my soul. I took a deep breath, refilling my leached emptiness with this beautiful, bright family, and I thought to myself, Well, so this is it. This is parenting two kids. These mornings full of activity, these children who need me. These green and blue eyes with their attendant soft lashes, these crusty pink faces, everything about them pulling me in closer. Here I am. I have arrived.
ah, isn’t funny of one minute you are completely wiped out and the next a little smile or “mama” can give you the new perspective you needed. this was a great post and (again) I am so sorry to hear about the sickness (especially in full detail – Yuck!)
hope everyone is 100% soon!
what a reminder . . . funny how they smile and you forget that they won’t sleep. Oh and Jayci, my four month old? apparently she just doesn’t need naps, ever.
hope things get better soon!
ps – I’m just impressed you made it to the grocery store at all!
You are amazing! I hope my attitude is as good as yours on my hard days. I’m afraid it usually is not, but there is always next time. I hope y’all are feeling better.
Beautiful. That’s mothering in a nutshell, no?
See that, you are such great company that Peabody can’t bear to fall asleep. Fights it off, he does, just to bask in your presence!
Beautiful post.
Nate’s Mom
Awwwww.
The Baby had a BAD case of the flu about a year back and a friend drove back from the nearest city in THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and hung a bag of gf crackers for her on the doorknob. The really melted my heart – and The Baby perked right up, too.
Hope your sweeties are feeling better.
I am still amazed how I can be so mad or tired but one smile from my son can turn the whole day around. Yea currently he is singing instead of sleeping. Sweet! He does need naps anymore either saying they are for babies.
Lucky indeed!
We went through the stomach flu in our house a few weeks ago. Hope that you are on the mend soon!
I totally know what you mean, I had all three sick last week with fevers & croupy coughing. I get SO tired but my momma empathy kicks in & it’s ok that I’m exausted & worn out. Nothing matters but my lil sickies & how I can help them feel better.
Hope she’s better soon!!
That’s exactly how it is. Parenting is a schizophrenic endeavor. “I love this!” “This is driving me crazy!” “I’m so lucky to be a stay-at-home mom.” “Why do I have to stay at home?”
Beautiful post, Megan, as always.