One Mother’s Letter to Santa

By Veronica

Dear Santa,

I know I’m not supposed to complain. This whole gift-giving thing is great, really. It teaches my children generosity and gratitude, it’s magical, spirit of Christmas, blah, blah, blah. I get it. I really do.

But could I just have a moment to discuss a gift that is becoming a problem? I realize that not all our gifts come from you. I know that. But as CEO of the entire Christmas-gift-giving operation, could you circulate a memo for me?

The Mitchells have enough chairs.

In fact, we’re full to brimming. Every time a doting relative passes a garage sale or toy store or possibly Big Lots, they are drawn to those cute little child-sized chairs. Their minds fill with visions of our sweet bairns nestled into a tiny rocker or easy chair, quietly reading a book. It’s a sweet picture, I admit. I’ve seen paintings like that. I have not actually seen my children do it for more than two milliseconds, but I understand the charm of the picture.

The thing is, at this point my children have received child-sized furniture from two grandmothers, four aunts and an uncle. Bean bag chairs, lawn chairs, wooden benches, rocking chairs and even one picnic table. I currently have pint-sized seating for fifteen. I only have four kids.

And they never sit down.

Santa, our house is that big. It’s getting hard to find space for all these chairs. They get shuffled around a lot, and I’m always tripping over one or another. So if you think of it this year, I would really appreciate it if you could find a gift a little more suited to my children’s habits and energy level.

Like maybe a child-sized hamster wheel. And if you could hook it up to a generator, our heating bills would be a lot smaller this winter.

Sincerely,

Veronica Mitchell

When Veronica gets her own chance to sit down, she blogs at Toddled Dredge.