5 Minutes for Parenting’s weekly column, A Dose of Humor, is here to remind you to take your humor pill regularly as the best medicine to treat the side effects of parenting! It features a different blogger every week and is hosted by Rachel at Grasping for Objectivity in My Subjective Life. Now you can also join in by linking in your funniest moment of the week in the comments of this post!!
Today’s post is from Nicci at The Daily Booger. She introduces herself as follows: “My son is a year and a half and is the best thing that ever happened to us. I am married to my high school sweetheart and we’re figuring out this parenthood thing and how to balance it with all the rest of life, hoping it will get easier than it looks. I plan to be the cool mom that makes it all look effortless and awesome at the same time someday. I would love to be a kick-butt photographer, but seem to be drastically lacking some skills (and equipmment…) In my non-mom time, I teach students with autism spectrum disorders, and have worked with kids and adults with special needs for the past 4 years. This cramps my cool-mom aspirations a bit when I have panic attacks that my son has missed a milestone or has suddenly become hyper-active, but I wouldn’t trade either of my jobs for the world!”
Shaved my legs today! I know! Shocking! No really, it is. I truly cherish the few extra moments in bed in the mornings way to much to waste them in the shower contorted in strange ways using a small weapon against myself.
It all started with the beautiful sunshiny weather. It inspired me to dig out my beloved flip flops and the stroller. The Booger and I enjoyed soaking up the sun for over an hour and topped it off with a trip to the playscape across the street.
Upon returning home, the Booger’s little rock eating self was in desperate need of a bath. He even knew it and tried to get himself in the tub. My, that was oh so helpful, not at all a glimpse into my little monkey’s delinquent future. While playing with the little raisin he was becoming, I realized my feet were also in need of a dip in the tub. So in my miraculous ability to mommy multitask, I decided to do a little impromptu foot-soaking.
And while sitting pants-less (cause we all know babies and bathtubs lead to splashing and why would I keep my pants on?) on the side of the tub, I noticed a beautiful green disposable razor and realized I could take multitasking to a whole new level. Oh, I was so proud of myself and what I was about to accomplish.
Until…
the Booger was playing with the can of oh so cool shapeable foam soap that suddenly became possessed and started squirting out all on its own, while he squealed and whined and shook vigorously to get the aforementioned apparently poisonous, burning substance off his chubby little hands and as far away as possible. No problem for a multi tasking mom- it’s an awful lot like shaving cream. I’ll just scoop it right up and slather it on. Mmm, smells good too. Problem averted
Until…
A certain someone remembered he could stand up in the tub and my attempts to sideways (I am sitting next to him essentially…) wrestle him into sitting while not splashing the smell good foam off my legs. Moments later, child seated and placated with tub toys.
Whew! Shaving accomplished. Step out, dry off, lube up. While I’m at it, why don’t I put a little lotion on my feet too. They’re nice and soft, I could give myself a little pedicure right here next to the tub. I could wear sandals tomorrow too. So excited! Giddy, almost.
Make it through both feet only because I break the “we sit in the tub” rule to allow the Booger to stand up and adorn the tub faucets with adorable toy crab and octopus hats.
The second I set aside the nail kit, he turns with a satisfied smile and starts signing “all done” frantically. That’d be great- but in my mommy multitasking, I managed to skip the purpose behind the beginning of this whole fiasco- cleaning the dirty baby.
So ensues another wrestling match involving soap, a washcloth, and pink, slippery, squealing pig, ahem baby. And don’t forget a pants-less, smooth legged, pedicured mama.
Moral of the story- just get up five minutes earlier and shave your legs in peace. Sheesh!
This post was originally published on March 16, 2009 at The Daily Booger.
If you would like to be considered to be featured in A Dose of Humor, email Rachel at doseofhumor (at) gmail (dot) com.
Join us and link up your funniest moment of the week here!!!
I actually HATE shaving in the shower, so I always shave while my son takes a bath. 🙂 But, yeah, I have to let him stand up to accomplish it. Or let him rub the shower gel into my legs – he thinks that feels really fun. 🙂