Two Little Bears

By Beck

I bought The Girl a silly pen at the dollar store today – it has a little pretend tv at the top, and when you press the button, POP! A picture of one of the actors from High School Musical appears. I’m going to tuck it into her lunch as as surprise for tomorrow, but not before making sure that the image is set to Sharpay. SHE IS MY FAVORITE, I am always telling The Girl. Oh, if only Troy was smart enough to recognize her glaringly obvious charms!

This annoys her to an hilarious extent.

You can tease her a little bit and she’ll take it in good humour. NEVER TEASE THE BOY, though. Not ever. Just don’t. He spent the night at my parent’s house a few weekends ago and I called in the morning pretending that I just wanted to say hi and chat all casual-like, but in reality I was TOTALLY CHECKING UP ON THEM TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY HAD TAKEN GOOD CARE OF MY BABY. So my dad was talking to me on the phone all cheerful and The Boy gets on and is obviously very subdued.

Me: What’s up, buddy?
TB: Grandpa called me a name. (My dad in the background: WHAT?)

Me: WHAT DID GRANDPA CALL YOU? (and I’m talking calmly right now, but I am also ready to go and stone cold BEAT DOWN my father.)

TB: He told me I was a DOOFUS for wanting oatmeal instead of pancakes! (My dad: hysterical laughter, although he felt PRETTY bad later when he realized that he had really hurt Mr. Touchy’s feelings.)

The Baby and I spent a lot of time yesterday at my in-law’s house, and the Baby found these two fuzz-covered plastic black bears – a mama and a baby, and so she got the mama and I got the baby and I was COMPLETELY groggy. I would play with her for a second and then I’d have a little nap and wake up a second later in a puddle of my own drool and The Baby angrily whacking me with the plastic bear.

“YOU ARE HURTING MY FEELINGS!” she said, fiercely, this doesn’t last forever battling it out inside of me with BUT I AM SO FREAKING TIRED!

So baby bear kept taking a trip down the imaginary couch waterfall over and over again, clinging to his wooden clog boat and bellowing “A LITTLE HELP PLEASE?” to his big furry mama, who would lumber after him and pluck him from the disastrous clog boat, just in the nick of time and The Baby laughed and laughed and laughed, over and over again, while both mamas – the plastic one and the real one, stood on the shore exhausted and bemused with their funny little children, these darling things that are sailing away right when we think they are standing still.

Beck also writes at Frog And Toad Are Still Friends.

28 Responses to Two Little Bears
  1. Nowheymama
    September 25, 2008 | 8:30 am

    “A little help please?” cracked me up. Funny, funny Baby.

  2. Jupiter
    September 25, 2008 | 9:35 am

    I have one that can’t ever be teased either.Sheesh. She was sent over the edge this morning because I said she was a “whiney butt”. But she WAS being a whiney butt so….

    The last paragraph is beautiful. I understand the bawling….

  3. PastormacsAnn
    September 25, 2008 | 9:44 am

    Funny and lovely Beck. I can understand the crying. The girl who ushered me into motherhood turned 16 on Monday. Where has the time gone?!

  4. Kat
    September 25, 2008 | 9:59 am

    Aww. Kids and their hurt feelings. 😉

  5. Hannah
    September 25, 2008 | 10:38 am

    Oh, oh, oh. I get misty-eyed and slightly heartsore whenever you write about the Baby growing up so fast. It’s happening to my baby too. I’d better go play bears with her.

  6. heidi
    September 25, 2008 | 11:27 am

    Even grown up they remain your babies. My huge baby (22 and 5’10”) just left for his 12:15 class. He came running back after he was half-way out of the driveway. I said, “Forget something?” He said,”Yeah”, gave me gigantic hug and ran back to his Jeep and took off out of the driveway. Now I’m crying.

  7. Susanne
    September 25, 2008 | 11:30 am

    How is it that you always write with such poetry exactly what my heart has gone through?

    I have an ultra sensitive one too. It took me a long time to get in the groove of parenting that one let me tell you.

  8. Sue
    September 25, 2008 | 11:31 am

    This is lovely.

    My four year old likes to wake me up each morning by pretending that he is a baby kitty, and I am the mama kitty, which is sweet and endearing, except for the part where it kind of isn’t at 5:30 in the morning. Some mornings I will play along if he is a snuggly, quiet, sleepy kitty, but other mornings I hiss GET BACK TO BED, just like a snappish mama cat really might.

  9. janet
    September 25, 2008 | 12:33 pm

    My middle can’t take the teasing either. Must be a birth order thing.

    E. and I spent the morning at a little park in our neighbourhood, where she climed up the wee curly slide a million times and I had to hold her stuffed doggy near the top cheering her on. Once she reached the top she would slide back down on her tummy, pretending to fall and I would have to let the doggy go down too with a fierce yelp. I got bored after about the 10th go-round, but I persevered for over half an hour because her giggles were ecstasy.

  10. suburbancorrespondent
    September 25, 2008 | 1:08 pm

    You know what kills me is the very last chapter of the last Winnie The Pooh book, where Christopher Robin goes away to school (i.e., grows up). It is devastating and reduces me to wracking sobs every single time.

    So I don’t read it to the kids.

  11. Painted Maypole
    September 25, 2008 | 1:34 pm

    oh, MQ went through a stage where i had to pretend to be drowning and she would save me, or the animal I was playing with, or whatever

  12. t.allen-mercado
    September 25, 2008 | 3:20 pm

    Teasing is bad…and subsequently quite expensive. Hopefully when I publish my tell-all novel I will recoup my therapy costs!

    Poor tired mom, I used to play read mommy a bed-time story an awful lot. I feel a little guilty about it sometimes. But they’ll SAT ready, that’s for sure! 🙂

  13. t.allen-mercado
    September 25, 2008 | 3:21 pm

    Teasing is bad…and subsequently quite expensive. Hopefully when I publish my tell-all novel I will recoup my therapy costs!

    Poor tired mom, I used to play read mommy a bed-time story an awful lot. I feel a little guilty about it sometimes. But they’ll be SAT ready, that’s for sure! 🙂

  14. LoriD
    September 25, 2008 | 4:17 pm

    My brother used to be a Mr. Touchy. Still is.

  15. Becky
    September 25, 2008 | 6:13 pm

    That is touching. Reading your posts always makes me want to go hug my kids. Thats a good thing. I loved that both the mamas were exhausted and bemused. I will confess that I have played many a half-hearted game of Candyland.

  16. crazymumma
    September 25, 2008 | 9:30 pm

    You know I am missing those bear playing days with the endlessly repeptitive games of catch me save me help me.

  17. Jennifer
    September 25, 2008 | 10:12 pm

    I feel the same way with my 6 year old. He’s MY baby, and today I folded up his baby blankets and put them sadly away in the attic. I couldn’t help but see if they still smelled like that little baby boy I used to put in the crib every night…

  18. Alison
    September 25, 2008 | 10:13 pm

    I let my son drive his toy cars over me when I’m too tired to sit up. So far he is not a boy who gets hurt feelings over something like that. When he really needs something he just gets extra loud and wakes me up all the way.

  19. flipflopmamma
    September 25, 2008 | 11:47 pm

    I’m just like the boy. I’m very sensetive and I hate being teased. In high school I broke up with several boys for teasing me. TheFM know better, but still sometimes I’ll become the butt of one of his jokes and I have to pout and have a tantrum and remind him that it’s ME that he’s making fun of, and I don’t do that. I LOVE teasing other people though…man, I’m so obnoxious.

  20. Omaha Mama
    September 25, 2008 | 11:57 pm

    They never really are standing still are they? Cells forever in motion.

    Hey – it’s okay to need a little snooze now and then.

  21. christine
    September 26, 2008 | 8:47 am

    this reminded me of winken, blinken, and nodd. i have those days where i am basically sleeping while the kids use me as a prop while they play then they berate me for ignoring them.

  22. chelle
    September 27, 2008 | 7:28 am

    You kids are amazing … it must be a reflection of you!

  23. Shellie
    September 27, 2008 | 8:25 am

    beck I liked this very much. especially the last paragraph I had a frowny smile face going on. 🙂

    oh I love that you put that pen in her lunch box… set to Sharpay!

  24. Angeline
    September 29, 2008 | 5:06 am

    Your 3 kids are so distinctively ‘characterized’ I love them all and Baby never fails to make my day a happy one!

  25. Jennifer, Snapshot
    October 1, 2008 | 3:10 pm

    Ha about Grandpa and his name calling. We told my four-year-old that dumb and stupid were bad words, because we were hearing them too much, and so now he calls us out on our “profanity” on a daily basis!

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